Camellia Blooms - SIXTY-THREE

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Even after all the things that happened to me, obstacles that I've crosses in this life, I still need to continue living life.

It was hard.

Living life, continuing my days without the people I've associated to.

And of course, strating life all over again.

I've missed my dream, I knew it was just a fragment of my imagination, just a dream. A product of my greed to start my perfect life

But I still can't process the fact that I have to start life all over again.

But I can't be a coward anymore.

I need to face my life.

And this time, I'm gonna make it right.

...

They told me I was in a coma for almost a year.

I don't know what to feel, whether to cry from the fact that I've lost almost a year worth days or if I should be happy that I haven't stayed unconscious for a long time and can start life again.

Nothing has changed, sure there were some but it was too little it doesn't really bother me.

I've lost my job, I didn't held any hope at my job since I knew that I've been asleep for a long time. The company would function without me, it doesn't really matter now.

"Callia, I have to take this call okay?" My father said as he left me with mom who was currently peeling an apple.

I didn't know that my father left us so that we can talk and for that, I'm eternally grateful at my father.

The two of us were quiet and only the usual steps from outside were heard. I was laying on the bed, staring at my mother as she peeled an apple for me.

"I've found your diary"

Oh.

She found it.

I've been writing my feelings in a piece of paper, pouring all my frustrations and anger on it. It wasn't supposed to be found, but I guess a secret wouldn't stay a secret forever.

"I'm sorry" she suddenly said, it was low at first and I doubted that she sad those words to me.

My mother is a string woman after all, she wouldn't say sorry that quick.

"I'm sorry" she uttered for the second time.

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.

Now that I've lived the life I was hoping for albeit in the form of dreams, I still live my mother.

Yes, she may have been cold to me but I fully understand the situation.

How can she stomach the sight of me? Who caused her husband's accident?

"I...I failed as a mother...I failed you and for t-that... I'm... I'm sorry" she said as she teared up, her hands were on her mouth as she smothered her sobs.

"Mom...come here" I couldn't reach her so all I could do is ask, she was hesitant at first but I called for her again until she's in front of me.

Then I embraced her, tightly, as if I was her little girl who got injured by a cut. I cried to her embrace, like the first time I got scolded by her.

"I'm sorry Ma...I'm truly sorry"

"No...I'm sorry too... I-I shouldn't have shut you down I-I was just...I was just too angry...I didn't know how to feel. I'm sorry...I'm sorry my daughter"

And that time, I have truly forgotten my mother's cold gaze at me and all I could remember is her warm and gentle embrace.

All along, my mother was suffering with me. I was just too blind at my own pain that I didn't consider her feelings nor talked to her.

I just let things happen.

...

Two months have passed and our mother and daughter relationship is slowly warming up. We have some awkward moments together but still, we always talked to each other and continued to strengthen our bond.

I'm currently having an exercise for my physical health. Since the time I woke up, I've been trying to gain my health back and going for physical exercises to work my limbs.

It's been doing good and I could now walk without someone's help but still, my legs can't walk for too long but its already a good thing.

"Ma...uhm...have you seen Yuu?"

I haven't seen him since the time I woke up. I was always on the garden trying to walk and sometimes I would ask the nurses but they always say he's here.

If he's here, why isn't he visiting me?

"Yuu? I'm not sure...would...would you like me to ask someone?"

I nodded at her, my mother asked one of the nurses and my mother looked like she had received a bad news.

This isn't looking good.

"Ma?"

She looked at me, her lips opening and closing. Now I'm getting nervous, what did the nurse say to make my mother hesitate like this?

"Yuu... Yuu is scheduled to go to abroad"

And right then, I felt like my life has crashed again.

***
Tomorrow people! It's going to be finished for three chapters? I guess?

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