When Shadows Fall | BTS Kim Namjoon

Chapter 34: Thanks

A/N: Surprise, I finally updated! I'll explain myself at the end of the chapter. Thank you SO much for reading - this book is somehow already at 15K. FIFTEEN THOUSAND READS and I'm so thankful to every single one of you who reads my story despite my terribly sparse updates <3

***

Over the first three months of the semester I settled into something resembling a routine. The normal business of classes, homework, and writing for the paper helped take up most of my days. My boss retracted his request (or demand) for a personal account after a long, excruciating talk in his office, but I stored up Namjoon's advice for the future when I'd surely feel the need to write about what had happened.

After a long search for a therapist I could afford, I found out that the university employed a (very poorly advertised) counselor who worked with students for free; I went once, skeptical, and walked out with my next two visits already scheduled, tear-spots drying on my shirt, and a freeness in my shoulders that hadn't been there in quite a long time. I also made frequent solo visits to the skating rink, and was still trying to get used to Jisuk's boyfriend being over more and more.

Throughout everything else on my schedule wound the almost daily texts from Namjoon. Once in a while we talked on the phone or through video, but usually it was messages. They were just funny anecdotes, interesting trivia, things like that – small strings of words that brightened my day tenfold.

There were a few breakdowns too, but I got through life a day at a time with help from Jisuk and the university counselor. I felt like I was beginning to reach a fragile equilibrium.

When a Friday night at the rink yielded only one fall and a lap in which I'd actually passed someone, the jubilation buoyed up my steps to the bus stop like I was walking on the moon. I smiled randomly as I waited for the bus (looking crazy to every poor tired stranger who happened to glance my way, I was sure), feeling exhilarated from the night's success at the rink. I wanted to share it with someone, and I wasn't sure I wanted to wait until I got home to tell Jisuk.

After looking through my contacts, I decided – why not tell the one who'd gotten me started in the first place?

I texted Namjoon. Would you be free to video-call? If he wasn't that was fine, but I wanted to tell someone! It had been so long since I'd felt the pure joy of defeating a difficult thing.

After a few minutes, Namjoon replied, Video-call? Why?

To talk to you, of course, I texted back.

I got an Oh really, followed by, Give me two minutes?

Gladly, I replied.

While waiting I walked over to check the bus schedule, then decided to check my emails. Just as I pulled up my inbox, Namjoon called.

"Hi," he said, the video wobbling as though he couldn't decide how to hold the phone.

"Hi! Thanks for calling," I said.

"No problem. Where are you at?"

"The bus stop by the rink." I looked at the screen; I couldn't see a lot of his background, but it didn't look like a house or dorm. "How about you, where are you at?"

"The studio. Working on stuff, as usual."

"Cool."

"So what's the occasion?" Namjoon asked. "Why did you want to call?"