Why your cast/descriptions sucks

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Mmm yes, a cast of perfectly beautiful people to play the roles of your quirky, relatable girl and a hot male model who'd vomit at the sight of your story to play her sexy borderline abusive boyfriend!

Can't forget the side characters who have face claims despite barely being rememberable characters in the story. Although the main characters probably aren't very memorable either so who am I shitting? You, I'm shitting on you for your poor choices.

Inserting pictures off the internet of random people or celebrities into your story and slapping your characters' names underneath, otherwise commonly known as a "cast", is a classic Wattpadder tactic and a Wattpadder tactic only. Many times it's for those who don't know diddly squat about writing a description or simply for those who are too lazy to be an actual writer and... write.

Now, most writers, even outside of wattpad have "face claims" for their characters. But for me and others that I've known and read about, those people still aren't treated as the actual character, they just look similar enough to them and are used for inspiration.

Inserting gifs and images of actors and treating them like they're your characters and using them as crutches to skate out of descriptions is a bit different. I also know many writers just like to add them for extra visuals to help readers, as long as you're not using them in place of actual writing, I don't really mind, I'm mostly talking about the lazy bastards here.

Adding a picture of Stephen James every time you mention him smirking and inserting pics of Pinterest outfit ideas in the middle of your chapter aren't replacements for writing descriptions you slothful thot. What are we? Sitting on grandma's sofa listening to storytimes as she flips through that dusty old scrapbook of family pictures you don't care about? No, this is supposed to be a book with a detailed storyline, act like it.

Read an actually normal written novel and take some notes on how they create character imagery with just words. (Or stay tuned to this rant, you should do both.)

BuT tHIs iS wAtTpAd, iT dOeSn'T mAtTeR!!!! Do you know what Wattpad is for? Reading and writing yes? What part of turning your novel into a lazy, low-quality JPEG picture book is writing again?

But maybe you don't have casts, maybe you write character info charts. Or maybe you're one of the people who does both *shivers in disgust*.

Exhibit A:

Thank you, thank you for telling me every single thing about the characters before I even meet them and spoiling it

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Thank you, thank you for telling me every single thing about the characters before I even meet them and spoiling it. I totally needed to know Lucas Reed's height before I even know him even though he's a 7-year-old with no importance to the story at all. Have you ever read a physical, professionally written book that had a character info chapter before the book starts? No, probably not right? I wonder why...

What's a book if you don't describe shit? Oh, it's a fucking Wikipedia article of documented information with a shit stain of conflict thrown in. Do you know how interesting it can be for readers to learn little bits and pieces of a character and not just learn it all at once before they even read the damn book? Clearly not, dunno why I asked.

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