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Chapter 39 - Defeat

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A colourful array of crystal decanters stood on the table in front of the mirror, a sight as familiar to Nash as his reflection. The morning sun slipped past his dark curtains and sparkled off the bottles' curves and edges.

Where he stood beside the window, Nash shook himself out of his mesmerisation, then counted the decanters with his eyes.

Five.

Nash had emptied five bottles of liquor into his body since the previous afternoon, but they hadn't helped. Rayn's voice was as loud and clear as ever in his mind.

Stupid, stupid boy! Did you have to help the girl escape? Do I have to do everything myself?

Nash winced as her words sent a wave of pain through his head. The throbbing behind his left eye was impossible to ignore, even though he tried to distract himself from it with happier thoughts and sadder ones.

Nash stumbled to the alcohol and the mirror.

The hours he was locked in the dungeons had been hard on him, but it was worth it because Lyrani had escaped.

The thought had given him little peace. He hadn't slept the previous night, and it was plain to see.

Fatigue weighed down his eyelids, but he could make out the dark circles around his eyes and the contrasting pallor of his face well enough. His cheeks had hollowed out.

How long had this been happening? Why hadn't he noticed it?

This sickness had snuck up on Livh, and it would be no different with Nash, except quicker. He hated the idea of being powerless, but how could he stave off an invisible enemy?

With a groan, Nash massaged his temples. All he wanted was to sleep, but when he lay down to rest, the voice in his head took it as a cue to rant.

Every rant came back to Lyrani Esch.

It was better Nash didn't know where she was, but he hoped she was safe. If she never came back for him, if she took her life and freedom and ran with it, he wouldn't blame her.

Still, he'd wait for her to knock on his door until he couldn't anymore.

A smile crept onto Nash's lips, wan like his spirit. Lyrani was a woman of the shadows, but she made his life brighter by merely being in his thoughts.

Nash knew why Lyrani had seemed familiar to him when they first spoke.

She reminded him of her mother, that was true. Veyali had been sent to investigate Rayn by Livh's contact at ECISI. She had been the kindest, most determined person Nash and Livh had met.

Livh had been afraid to hope that they could win against Rayn, but Veyali had promised that they would.

She had taken Nash on walks in the forest when he was ten years old. Looking back, he could see it was a way for Veyali to ask him questions about Rayn in a manner and setting that wouldn't spook him, but it was the first time he had felt heard. Livh had done her best for him, but she had no power while Rayn ruled.

He remembered Veyali saying she had a little girl a few years younger than him. Nash had wanted to meet her, and they had, so long ago that it was only a shadow in the past.

News of Veyali's death had shaken Livh and Nash's world.

She had saved them. She was one of the best people they knew, and she was gone.

Livh and Nash had left to Irylen immediately.

It had been an overcast day when they arrived, and the funeral's mood had mimicked it. While Livh and the other adults had exchanged solemn conversation around the marquee, there had been a little girl crying next to Veyali's casket, barely tall enough to peer over its sides.

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