Cinders [Completed]

Chapter 21: Reliving

I cling to the crutches as I leave the examination room. I imagine Orion's blood will continue to heal my leg, but the ordeal makes my calves ache like I've just climbed a mountain. In fact, my entire body is shaky with exhaustion, and nausea still rolls in my stomach. Still, my body feels stronger than it did even seconds before, and I imagine how much better I'll feel in a day.

Cooper is waiting at the far end of the hall, right next to the exit, talking with Orion, who looks like he's trying to run away. The awkwardness between us is so thick that it's nearly visible. His hands shake, and I remember the feeling of his arms around me.

He looks . . . angry.

My intestines feel like they've been dunked into a bath of icy water. I blink, and I can see Dad's face, livid with rage, smashing my hand under his boot. It feels harder to breathe.

My eyes dart to the long hallway in front of me, where Dr. Harold is looking over a clipboard, his entire body trembling like a chihuahua.

"Dr. Harold!" I call out, moving forward on my crutches.

He pauses and shoots a furtive glance around, like he's worried that Orion is still glaring at him. When he notices that Orion isn't looking at us, he looks at me quizzically. I take this as a cue to begin.

"Couldn't - couldn't we use the Prince's blood to fix other wolves? Big injuries?"

I wonder how obvious it is that I'm thinking of Lucy.

"I - I mean, why don't we just have alpha blood on tap, for all healing?"

Dr. Harold's smile is thin and watery, like he was hoping I wouldn't ask.

"Because of your - relationship, to Prince Orion," he begins anxiously. I startle and move backward instinctively.

Harold continues, "His blood has a different effect. Mate/mate transfusions are common if one mate is of a higher order than the other. It's a more drastic version of skin to skin contact for reducing pain."

I blush a scarlet crimson.

That's why Orion told Harold not to tell anyone. He knows we're mates.

"So, Prince Orion's blood . . . it wouldn't work on anyone else," the doctor finishes, shifting uncomfortably.

"Ah," I croak.

"I was hesitant to suggest it," he adds, "you know how alphas can be."

At this, he forces a laugh. His nervousness, while it does make him seem less intimidating, also makes me feel about 90% more uncomfortable. I attempt a smile.

I do know how alphas can be. I suppress the shiver that wants to trickle down my spine.

I glance down the hall, where Orion is now standing alone.

I run through everything through this eyes. He had been approached by Harold and told that there was a way to heal me, but it would hurt. He still gave me the choice. I imagine how he must have felt when I said yes. Yes to hurting him. Yes to a pain that we would share. Yes, without thinking about him at all.

But I should be fine with that. Our ways would be parting soon. I should be fine that I hurt him.

But I'm not.

Thoughtless. Selfish. Stupid enough to care.

That's me.

I thank Dr. Harold and hobble towards Orion as quickly as I can.

He's standing away from me, staring at the exit. I force myself to stop admiring his broad shoulders. Even if I can't be his mate - even if he would end up just like Dad - the selfishness of my decision finally lands on my chest like cinder blocks.