To Be Child of God [A Merome Story]

✧Chapter 5✧

I reflected on our conversation for a couple of days. Mitch. It wasn't a name I was familiar with, I couldn't attach it to a person, and it certainly wasn't a biblical name. But the thing was, I liked it. I liked the name and although I wasn't at the point where I wanted to use it in reference to myself, maybe one day I would. Maybe one day, when I was away from this place.

Faith woke me the following Sunday, already dressed with a headscarf tied over her hair. I had been allowed to sleep on account of running quite a high fever but I was still expected to do everything I normally did. Being sick was supposedly a sign of sin and it was therefore my own fault, so I was still to look after the children, go to Church and serve in the kitchen as usual. I didn't mind too much, as my mother cared enough to allow me to sleep in until 7am.

"Charity?" She shook my shoulder as I turned and looked at her. I yawned, sitting up. "Come on, we're leaving in half an hour. Mother let you sleep in."

I sat up- everyone else was up, even little Mercy. She wasn't dressed just yet but was awake and babbling like she always did, in her toddler talk. Joy, Hope and Justice weren't even in the room, they were probably in the kitchen preparing breakfast. On Sunday's we had breakfast at home so no one had to work the kitchen, the one day every girl got a break.

"Thanks Faith." I sighed, sliding from my bed and reaching for my skirt and blouse. My Sunday dress had been hung up on the end of the bunkbed the night before, taken from my wardrobe so it didn't wrinkle. There were three bunk beds in the room and I, Mercy because she was so little, and Justice had the bottom beds. "I think the fever's gone down. I should be right."

She nodded. Our relationship was... difficult. Despite being only two years apart we had never really been close. We were too busy looking after our siblings, cleaning, cooking, sewing or doing laundry for the community to ever really get to know one another properly and because of that, I felt like I knew my friends from the kitchen more than I knew her. She certainly didn't know how upset I was about being betrothed. Huh. She was 15, 16 in less than a month, and was close to being betrothed herself. I wondered if she wanted to be married, if she wanted to have children one day. Not that she would have much say in the choice, but she seemed happy looking after our siblings in a way that I could never be. I honestly didn't know.

The boys were already in the kitchen when us three girls finally wandered out, Faith having gotten Mercy dressed. I secured my headscarf. My mother had made a breakfast of homemade toast, honey and butter from the dairy farm. I took a slice.

"You are feeling better Charity?" I nodded. "That is good."

There was no more questioning, and I was thankful. If my father had been in the kitchen he would have prayed for the Lord to forgive whatever transgression had caused me to be ill because, again, being sick was a sign of sin. I had been breaking the rule daily for the last week by talking to Jerome and thinking all of those awful thoughts, but that had been pushed to the back of my mind for now. Right then, my only thought was to see this plan through, and maybe get out.

Gabriel nodded to me as we piled the kids into the car he was going to drive. The community hall where services were held was a 15 minute walk away, on the other side of the compound, and we didn't want to walk today. We clearly couldn't fit all twelve of us into one car so he drove one while my father drove the other. He seemed to understand my situation more than any of my other siblings because he himself was getting betrothed at the same time I would be. He knew more about the process than I did as he had to propose to a girl, but he didn't know who yet. I gave him a smile, strapping Mercy into her seat.

God, if only I could see into the future.

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Jerome was pale. His eyes were wide, brows furrowed, hands physically trembling. I was carrying Mercy in my arms when he approached, but once again he didn't walk towards me. He didn't want to be seen breaking the rule. Once again, he came to talk to Gabriel and once again, I knew the news was not going to be good.

My mother and father were not in earshot, nor were any other adults. When his spoke, his voice was shaking and high. Gabriel knew. I knew. Someone else was gone.

"Who left?" Gabriel whispered before Jerome even managed to speak.

"Rob and Grace. They took their kids, Leah and Eve... and Preston went with them too."

My world felt like it had shattered. No. It wasn't possible. I had talked to Grace only days earlier at the nursery where she had dropped Leah off, Eve in her arms. She had seemed happy, everything a woman of our faith should have been but... now she was gone. She and her children and her husband were gone. I hadn't known Rob well but he had seemed happy here too.

As for Preston... he had been married only four months earlier to a girl called Terah, and she was almost exactly four months pregnant. But she hadn't left. Her husband had fled, leaving her and her unborn child behind.

Gabriel gaped, dropping Thomas' hand. I was shaking, I almost could hold Mercy anymore. Jerome shared a quick, discreet glance with me when my brother wasn't looking. He was in shock, I think. My brain wasn't catching up to the situation- five of our community gone overnight, leaving a wife and child behind.

"Wh- how- when!?" My brother gasped. "What about Terah!? Is she not....?"

"My father said she refused to go." Jerome whispered. "I- I don't know, but she refused. That's all I know. They'll say something today and maybe about Luke too cause they didn't mention him Wednesday. I just... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why they left, I don't know why she stayed, I don't know."

As Gabriel and I turned to leave, Mercy still in my arms, I did something that surprised even myself. I reached out to Jerome, stock still and completely immobile, and squeezed his hand. I turned and ran, hoping no one had seen me. No one did.

I turned back one last time and he signalled. Seven. 7 o'clock tonight, we would meet again in the field and maybe I would get some more in-depth answers about why they had decided to leave. His father and his family received more information about the goings-on in the community that mine did and even if my father did, he certainly wouldn't tell us. We only ever saw him at mealtimes. He wasn't very involved in our daily lives unless we made a mistake.

I sighed, shaking. I had to mentally prepare myself for the coming service. Our leader, Father Abraham, would have much to say about the sins of the past week and how those who had left would end up burning in hell. Even Eve, Leah and Grace's unborn child.

"Let's go Mercy." I whispered to my little sister. "Be glad you are young enough to remain in the nursery during worship."