To Be Child of God [A Merome Story]

✧Chapter 8✧

Two months. Two months of talking behind the scenes, of secrets and of utter fear from my end. I hadn't managed to meet up and talk with Jerome because increased surveillance from the adults for the very reason of preventing us from talking to potential husbands, thus we couldn't find the space. There was no new information he could provide to me anyway, only reassurance that it would be okay. Even he wouldn't know who he was going to propose to until the day of, so there was nothing to tell me anyway.

I was getting more antsy by the day but I knew it wouldn't be for a little while longer, maybe another month. My mother was a little disappointed- probably because Harmony had to sleep in her and fathers' room longer than she wanted, and couldn't dump the responsibility of a restless baby on my sister- but it gave her more time to talk about how she pictured me. As the time drew nearer she talked to me when we made meals at home on a Sunday about how my husband would guide me to the Lord and I would provide him with lots of beautiful children. I only nodded, silent screaming.

The most important thing going on in the community were the births of several new children, a few from older mothers with 5 or more children each, but a couple were from first or second time mothers too. They were always celebrated, adding more precious lives to grow our community. They expected that of me too.

But aside from that, Gabriel had been talking to the elders and as he told me, he was so close to getting their for him to marry Terah. He was happy around it too- she was now 6 months pregnant and had moved back in with her parents, but the news of Gabriel's intentions had reached her. I believed she was glad to know she wouldn't be a single mother in a world where you had to be married. Maybe she would leave if she didn't remarry.

Sighing deeply I took Harmony from her crib, cradling the screaming girl in my arms. My baby sister was only two months old but already my mother had gifted the responsibility of raising her on myself and Faith, taking her only to feed her. It was bad enough having to deal with an almost three year old, but adding a two month old on top of all of our other responsibilities like mending clothes, cooking, laundry and church made it painful. I should have been used to it by now, having raised most of my siblings this way, but I still hated it.

Jerome approached the table the next morning, talking quietly to Gabriel. When he saw me looking he shook his head sadly. I got the message. We couldn't meet up- too many people watching us.

Later that evening, as I was hanging out the washing, Gabriel approached me from behind. He had come back late from dinner after spending sometime with the men from his work- another young man had left the night before, someone I hadn't really know, but I suspected I knew who was behind it.

"Hey Charity." He said, taking one of the dresses from my hands and pegging it on the line for me. "I just wanted to talk to real quick."

"About...?" I frowned.

"You and Jerome."

My heart sank almost into my stomach at that because despite everything, despite knowing Jerome couldn't have told him about us, it was still the worst feeling to think he might know. I managed to disguise it though, mask slipping for only a second. I continued to watch him, for any signs he knew what I was doing.

"You said you would bless our union, if the elders give permission. Do I still have that?" I murmured, but Gabriel laughed.

"Of course!" He smiled. "No, it's not about that."

"Are you upset because I was breaking the rule? I know I'm not supposed to be talking to him..."

"Oh no, no, no, no!" He chuckled this time. "No, it's not that either. Sometimes Charity, when we're young, I think the rule is made to be broken."

I let that sink in for a moment. Gabriel, my brother, the one who preached the rule from day one, believed it was okay for me to be breaking it. It took me a moment to get it through my head.

"Well, on the condition you haven't been doing anything more?" My response was automatic, drummed into my head.

"Never! I would never grieve the Lord in such a way!" I exclaimed, hurt that he could even think that of me. Well, I was talking about a lot more but I wasn't going in the direction he was thinking of. I had only ever touched him once of my own accord, after Grace, Rob and Preston left. I still had no news of them.

Gabriel smiled.

"I figured. You are a godly woman Charity. I am just glad that you will be happy with this marriage, if it is allowed."

-----------------------------------------------

Everything moved very fast when it came to Terah and Gabriel in the weeks following. As Terah was a first time mother she was at a higher risk of going into early labour and the elders did not want the child born out of wedlock- only three days after my conversation with Gabriel, at the Sunday service, the two were engaged to be married within the month.

It sent out family into a bit of a panic as it was the family of the groom who were responsible for preparing the room the new couple would move into in the main building, as well as items for a new baby. Clothing for the couple and future children, curtains, bedspread and decorations. Normally the family wouldn't expect a baby for at least nine months, but this situation was a little different. That meant every spare second at home Faith, my sisters and I spent sewing for my brother and Terah. If I was married to Jerome, his sisters would do the same for me.

I barely had time to think about my own upcoming engagement during that time, I was so exhausted. Jerome and I couldn't talk, he couldn't even give me a smile across the table without risking others knowing we had been talking.

I went to sleep each night with Jerome on my mind, but I couldn't waste my energy on it. By that point I was fighting through each day, ending it numb and exhausted. I could only hope at that point, because only the Lord had a say in how it would all turn out.