The Journey of a Broken Heart

Chapter 22: LYNN

Years of love have been shattered in a moment of hatred, I really hope this is not us. I am wheeling frantically in my bedroom, thinking on how Laura will take my idiocy on her. I know that she will forgive me and that she doesn't hate me but still it was a shitty thing to say. She has been through A LOT with me honestly my whole family's life has changed because of me. But Laura has always been there with me she made me feel strong in the midst of this all, she supported me, she made me feel beautiful, she sacrificed her stupid luscious locks for me, she made me smile when I wanted to cry and this, THIS is how I repay her? I am beyond disgusted by myself for even thinking those words. I was SO into myself that I didn't even realize them coming out of my mouth. I hurt her I know I really did.

It is not raining now but I am still worried of her, she left a note on the door saying that she will be at George's and mom called his mother and she assured her that Laura is at their house. She isn't back because Mrs. Mason (George's Mother) has stopped her for dinner. But I think that she doesn't partly want to come home because of me. I really want to talk to mom about this but she is on the phone talking to Mrs. Mason, her name is Olivia so let's just call her that.

I really have no idea what they are talking about, I really hope that Laura hasn't told anyone anything because than I would feel beyond ashamed though I know that she wouldn't do anything like this. Maybe she told George? my subconscious suggested timidly.

Yeah and that is only right, she needed to tell someone after what just happened, I scolded her as it is partly her mistake. If my mind would have thought it through than it would have gone much better. It was the crying I thought. I know better than that, as I blurted those words out myself, but the thought loosened the knot in my chest a little ,so I went with it.

...

Three hours have passed and she still isn't back, I just want to see her again just one more time and explain myself to her.

Four hours have passed and I lost all hopes that she would be returning anytime soon but the doorbell rang and I heard her talking to mom, as the sound of a car pulling away was heard. Oh so George drove her, why would he drive her for such a small distance?  thought detective Lynn but I pushed her down and told myself to sober up a bit.

"Do you wanna have dinner, again?" My mom asked her as she hung her coat. I watched her from my room.

"No, Olivia had fed me more than I could ever eat," she said smiling as she began taking off her boots. Her voice isn't heavy so she hasn't been crying lately but it is still raw from the sobbing earlier. I notice these small things in everybody. Changes in their moods, when they lie if they had cried or not, it may be because I spent way too much time trying to decipher the emotion behind everyone's face as they came to talk to me and console me in the hospital the first time I was admitted there.

Now I could easily tell the emotion by just looking at people's eyes and when I look at Laura her pupils are always dilated as if I am the best thing she has ever seen. This made me feel even more ashamed and I lost all the courage as I tried to look into her eyes. I had thought all the counter attacks I would make but I forgot all the words I had summed up when I realized that her eyes were nothing but cold. I really did hurt her.

...

I layed in my bed but didn't cry because after today I am not a big fan even if I was praising it earlier. Mom called me for dinner and I went in the kitchen and slowly began to eat the beans and rice that she had prepared. I still couldn't bring myself to look into her eyes because I am still disturbed by the whole not my daughter thing. But I know better than that I am just worried that if I look at her, into her eyes I would remember Laura's cold ones because she and my mother share the same eye color: A dark blue that would pierce into your soul but I have always seen them warm.

I have inherited my eye color from my dad: Hazel green and whenever I think of my dad's eyes I always remember how those eyed were shedding tears when they learned that another Hazel green-eyed may not have light in their eyes anymore.

My thoughts drifted back to Laura and her kind face with warm eyes instead of cold ones. That is when I remembered something: The song, the song that she sang to me couple nights back in her sweet voice was the same one that helped me sleep the first night in the hospital. It was a song that Laura wrote for me.

...

I went to her room and she was lying on her stomach in bed with her legs crossed and swinging in the air as she scrolled down her phone. She seemed so much younger this way.

"Laura?" I asked afraid of the answer. Afraid that she would not talk to me in the same way.

"Hmm?" she said confirming and not confirming my theory.

"I am sorry?" I said but it came more like a question than a statement.

"Okay," she replied shortly still not looking up at me.

"I really am," I said remembering that we were laughing this very morning and were talking about boyfriends and relationships. How did we end up here? How did I screw up everything? Why did i screw up everything?

"Please Laura, I know that my words hurt you, I didn't mean them." I pleaded and she finally looked at me even though her face was expressionless, her eyes looks more welcoming than before. Good.

"Lynn, the words didn't hurt me. The person who said them did."

Hey, everyone! This is the longest update I have ever made, Wooh! I am not sure if I'll be uploading tomorrow so I hope this makes up for it! :)

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