On My Own (l.s. AU)

Chapter 2 - Sleep?

7 months after the accident...

Harrys POV

My first thought is where am I. It's dark here.

I can hear voices and they don't seem far away, even if I can't hear them clearly, more the echo of them resounding in my head.

Now that I thought about my head... It hurts, a lot. Not only my head, my whole body, hurts. It hurts so much. How couldn't I have realized this before?

I try to move my body, to get more comfortable. It's not possible.

I'm hurt, that's obvious, but maybe I can move single body parts? I try to move my toes, it doesn't work. The next thing I try are my fingers. I can't even lift a single one of them.

It's this moment where I feel so helpless. I want to hide myself somewhere, but I just lie there, feeling exposed to the world, the same way he used to let me lie there.

No, no, no, no I shouldn't think about that, I think and try to concentrate on the voices.

One stands out in this ocean of echo, it's a bit higher than the others and usually I'd probably would've gotten a headache, but I can hear the voice nearly clear.

'What happened to him?', the voice asked.

It sounds oddly familiar, if I could only remember where I know it from.

'-two broken-lost a lot of bloo-had to-artificial coma'

I'm in an artificial coma? Should people be able to be feeling pain during this? Hearing things?

'-going to be okay?', there's the voice again. I missed the first part of the sentence, but I'm pretty sure he asked if someone is going to be okay.

He probably asked about you Harry, so focus you want that answer too.

But I can't concentrate anymore, when I feel the pain in my chest and shoulder increase. I want to scream but I can't, it's too overwhelming-

~~~

I wake up. Louis is sitting next to me. How did he get here? Oh right, we're roommates now. I felt bad because I got Lottie's room and she moved in with Fizzy and he offered to let me sleep in his room. I got my own bed of course.

'Hey, are you okay? You just screamed, it scared the hell out of me.', he asks and takes my hand in his.

After the hospital this became our ritual. Whenever I was afraid or something, he took my hand.

'I was in the hospital.', there's no more words leaving my mouth, but he understands.

'We're you remembering your coma again?', he questions and I just nod.

'Do you want to talk about it? We don't have to, just tell me if you want to tell me what exactly happened in the dream.'

Why is he so sweet?

Wait a second sweet? He's somewhat my brother, I shouldn't think that.

'Harry? Do you want to tell me?', he asks again, looking concerned now.

'I'm sorry I must have zoned out. But yes, I think I can tell you. It was the usual dream, me waking up, realizing I'm not really awake, that I can't move. You asked the doctor if I was going to be fine and then the pain overtook.' I explain, talking slow, not really knowing how to tell the story.

I didn't tell him the thing about my dad on purpose. I will someday, but I don't feel ready, it's too much. Not even in court I told someone, so my father is sitting in jail now 'just' for shooting me.

'-can do?', Louis says and I'm confused.

When did he say the rest of the sentence?

I look at him and he gives me a shy smile. When I smile back, his smile widens and I swear not even the sun can shine this bright.

Since I didn't answer his question, he squeezes my hand a last time and wants to go back, over to his bed, but I stop him, by taking his hand in mine again.

'Wait...', I whisper.

He turns around to me and sits back down on my bed.

'What is it?', he asks.

'Can you sleep here tonight? I don't want to be alone.', I must sound pathetic. I'm not even sure he heard me, because I spoke so quietly.

It takes a moment, but when I have the courage to look him in the eyes again, I see him motioning me to scoot over.

'No need to be embarrassed, little one.', he says, followed by a yawn.

He still has my hand in his as we both lie next to each other, shoulders and arms touching. We stare at the ceiling. But suddenly I can feel his gaze on me and I'm almost uncomfortable.

But then he says: 'Good night, Haz.'

'Good night.', I answer, still looking up.

And then I slowly drift to sleep again.

~~~

I wake up with Louis arm under me and my head on his chest, our legs intertwined. It's oddly comfortable, I think, when I hear Louis groan next to me.

I immediately pretend to still be asleep, not ready to admit I'm already awake and comfortable in this position.

'Harry. Hazza. Haz. Please, you need to get up.', he tries to wake me.

'Make a little conversation,
so long I've been waiting,
so let go of myself and feel alive.'

He is singing now and I have to admit, it sounds great when he sings in the mornings, voice still a bit raspy.

I yawn and know I have to 'wake up' now.

'Morning Lou.', I mumble.

He chuckles on the sound of my voice.

'Could you maybe get up Harry? My arm is half asleep and I need to take a wee.'

I remove my head from his chest and he gets up.

He turns around and faces me again.

'I'm right back.', he says, smiling and I feel my heart almost glow in my chest.

No, this can't be right. I can't be falling for him. I just can't.

~~~

Thoughts?

This chapter is dedicated to WhaleO_oThen because it's her birthday today and I really wanted to update sometime. So I wrote this as some sort of a present. I hope you enjoyed the chapter Kait. Please wish her a happy birthday.

This chapter is a bit shorter than the previous ones, I'm sorry, I'm still not doing super well and I try my best to update every once in a while and find people who want to read this book.

I hope you all have a good day. TPWK.

~ Lou