December 8th: Headlights

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He watched the highlights with tired eyes before he turned to watch the woman who sat opposite him in the arm chair with her legs crossed, wearing a tight skirt to her knees and a puffy blouse. Her hair lay slick over her head and ended in a big bun on the side of her head.

'Welcome back to Late Night with Jessica Colins” The woman introduced herself as she showed a perfect row of white teeth at the camera before she turned to watch Connor.

“I'm here tonight with Connor Walsh, author of 'Smile or go to Jail' and 'The true Keating 5'” She smiled as she eyed Connor.

“Of course you have talked a lot about the reasons behind the books and you have said that though we follow Luke Clarkson through his school years and in the later book also when an accident leads to him covering a murder. You have said you have plenty of things that connect you to Luke. One ting I react to when reading the book is the relationship he has to hacker Hans Olivers”

Connor nodded slightly, not appreciating where this interview was heading, but he had stopped caring a long time ago. He had tried to get in touch with “Hans Olivers” for a long time but he either reached the speaker or Marcus. He had googled it and Marcus lived with Oliver and Connor could not recall him mentioning having a brother or a friend called Marcus back in the day.

“Is this a man you knew for real?”

“I knew him” Connor answered simply.

“Did you meet him like Luke met Hans?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell us about him” the woman smiled, clearly trying to get anything but a yes or no answer out of him.

Connor sighed, not feeling thrilled about opening old wounds and pouring tons of salt in them, but he had agreed to this tell all-interview after all. “He was amazing. It started out with me not having, well, the best of intentions” he sighed. “I wanted information, but it grew into something more quickly. He seemed to, well, put up with my ways and who I was and no had before or has afterwards. It's just been him” It was always him.

“I think... I really loved him. I hurt him really badly so I know I don't deserve a second chance and I know that... he won't answer my calls. I learned that years ago. He's moved on and I hope that the guy is... treating him good. He deserves the best and... I know I didn't give the best to him”

“Would you if you got the second chance?” the woman asked and Connor shrugged. “I don't know. I want to say yes. Maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I'm an asshole. I just know that... Back then I didn't give him what he wanted. What he deserved. I took him for granted and... I lost him”

“Did you move on?”

“I don't... miss him with every single breath I take. It doesn't hurt every single breath. But no. I didn't move on. I think about him every day and it's almost ten years ago” Connor shrugged, trying to shrug it off.

“Do you regret what you did to him?”

“Yes.”

“Would you be better?” she asked again. “Treat him better?”

“If?”

“If you got a second chance”

“I would want to. I don't know how to be with anyone anymore” he sighed. “But for him? I'd do anything. Not to be with him but to see him happy. Like I said, he deserves it”

“Sounds like you really loved him”

“I do”

She nodded as she studied him, opening her mouth to ask something when Connor opened his instead. “Can we chance the subject? Please? This is an ended chapter in my life and I do not want to talk about it”

The woman didn't seem pleased with that, but she respected his decision.

Jessica had continued asking about the books, about his life after them in general, but Connor had only given halfhearted answers, his mind trapped plenty of years back and in Oliver's apartment.

He sighed as he studied himself in the mirror of his loge before he walked out of it and continued out from the building. Fans were standing there though it was the back entrance, screaming and crying, wanting his autograph and saying how great he had been but he was in no mood to speak with anyone. He moved forward, trying to move away from them when one of them stepped in before him.

“Was it true? What you said in there?”

Connor looked up with tired eyes before he widened them.

“Oliver” he breathed out, staring at him.

Oliver smiled weakly. “Coffee?” he suggested and Connor nodded at once. They walked to the closest Starbucks, being literally around the corner. Connor treated him with the coffee he wanted, a vanilla latte, and Connor himself had a normal cup of coffee and then they had their seats in the back, Connor wanting some privacy.

“So, was it true?” Oliver asked, first time really after stepping up before him. He'd only said the words 'vanilla late' before.

“Yes. I miss you”

“I've missed you too. And what was that about me moving on?”

“With Marcus?”

“He's a childhood friend. He just divorced so he had no way to go since his parents passed away last year” Oliver replied and that was the first time in ages Connor felt like a complete asshole.

“Oh..”

“Yeah” Oliver sighed as he watched him. “I've missed you.”

“Want to uh... maybe not give us another chance, it's been a long time but... Maybe I could ask you out?”

“You could” Oliver stated.

“Would you say yes?”

“You won't know if you don't ask” Oliver replied and Connor smiled at that.

“Oliver Hampton, will you go on a date with me?”

Oliver smiled weakly as he nodded. “Yeah. I think that'll be nice”

And just like that the last ten years seemed to disappear. All the pain, all the self-doubt, all the sorrow, everything just went away and all that was left was Oliver. It was always Oliver.  

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 14, 2014 ⏰

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