~XVI~

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Me: *adds things to my library that seems interesting*
Also me: *doesn't touch the app for six months*

I keep wanting to write more in Ethan's POV because I'm honestly loving his part of the story/what events will happen with his side more than the reader's, so (finally) here is a chapter in your POV😌

Y/n's POV

Absent today. I was so fortunate to miss school today for the migraines and feeling more weak than usual. Although, fortunate would fit better for any other reason. Pretending to be sick, a doctors appointment, anything. This reason was hell. I can't even go back to sleep and wait for noon to wake up, hell I've been awake since four in the morning. My head feeling like it's throbbing and unable to walk to the kitchen without feeling like I'm going to collapse. I would much rather be at school and feel fine than at home and wondering why the world chose me to live this life of suffering.

Some days it felt fine. I go through my day as normal, like I don't have a life threatening problem, like I was living just as everyone else around me. But other times it felt too much. Everything hurts, I can't move, I'm sitting by the toilet all day, etc. Some days it made me wish it would hurry and kill me so I didn't have to feel like this anymore. Of course, my parents sold me for it every time they hear it.

I couldn't imagine how they feel or what they're going through. After trying so long for a kid and almost giving up, their miracle child came. They finally had the family they dreamed of. They put years of work into their little girl to raise her to be a confident, happy woman. Making sure she wasn't raised around anything that could hurt or danger her, protecting her with their life. Though, no matter what they did, the one thing they couldn't protect her from attacked her.

They can't do anything about this. Everything they worried about, they never expected a brainstem glioma. They try to be optimistic, saying 11% just sounds like a small chance, that I will make it through this. Especially my mom. I would need another hand to count the amount of times I've heard her in the next room trying her best to cry silently. Being optimistic only takes you so far. It doesn't keep you from feeling the pain of the bad outcome of the situation.

My mom tries to feel her pain when I'm not around. That doesn't mean I don't know about it. She prefers not to talk about the negatives of what's going on, but she doesn't stop anyone from doing it. Instead, she only gets quiet. My mom tries her hardest to make me feel better on the days I feel like shit, which I appreciate a lot, but we both know she can't help very much. When I shaved my head, I could see the look she tried so hard to hide in the mirror. It was an exciting moment in some aspects, but my mom was feeling the opposite. She watched as my dad helped me, smiling wide at first at the scene. But soon, that toothy smile became a closed mouth, forced smile with tears in her eyes she was holding back.

Eth
We got some packet in science today. It's not hard, I already finished it

My phone buzzed next to me. I didn't have to look at it to know it was Ethan. Every hour since school started, I received a message from him letting me know what I was missing. Though, we don't have some of the same teachers so he's only hoping everything he says will be the same for me. I haven't answered anything he's sent me, I haven't felt good enough to be willing to type a reply. I haven't given him an explanation as to why I wasn't at school, but I left him on read with his first message so he knew I wasn't dead. I'm sure, from doing that, he knew what was going on because he didn't ask again and wasn't being annoying and sending a bunch of messages.

I appreciated it. How he was telling me what I was missing in each class, while not being annoying and blowing up my phone. Not getting angry when I left him on read, more of understanding why. Even without an explanation. I doubt he knows the exact reason, but I'm sure he knows enough. Not begging me for an answer and sending me message after message to get my attention. Instead, only the necessary. I was glad to have a friend like him.

Even with the list, he's great. Most of the things on there he clearly isn't too comfortable doing, but he has never tried to convince me to take it off the list or say that I would have to find someone else to do it with. He hasn't liked some we have already done, but he made it through it and I haven't heard him say he regretted it. He may not have been comfortable, but he still did it with me.

I thought I was going to go through all of this alone, with only my parents, but now I have Ethan too. I'm lucky to have him as well.


VERY short chapter, which I apologize for, but I needed to get something out and I couldn't think of anything else to write in this chapter. No think, head empty. Buuuutt I had a lot of fun writing this, so there will possibly be another update soon :)

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