My imaginary boyfriend

12 : Fear

Chapter 12 : Fear

"That was wrong. The one who should have asked that question was me."

He tightened his hand that was holding mine. That hurt me. I tried to resist and pull out my wrist but it didn't work. He then pulled my hand towards him and that was too forceful that my force could never compete. Even though I tried to look down to avoid him, the eyes of his that fixed on me somehow cast the mysterious charm that forced me to look into his eyes. The sentence that was coming out from his mouth was not an answer, but a question. It was the question that I'd never expected to hear.

"It's all about you, Phai. What exactly are you? Why do you exist?"

As if my head was pounded with a mallet so hard, I was confused and frustrated. What was he saying? I don't get it. What did he just ask?

The one who was asking the questions was me. The one who had no clue was me. The one who was so confused was me. However, the expressions on his face and the eyes that were looking at me, waiting for the answer, looked as confused. Since I didn't know what to reply to him, all I could do was just try to pull my wrist out of his forceful grip. Unfortunately, the more I wriggled free, the more he increased the force that pulled me close to him.

"Klong, please let go of me. It hurts." I begged him and tried to use my other hand to unwrap his fingers that were wrapping around my wrist but he refused to let me go. Those fingers exerted even more forcefully. He held my wrist so tight that even his fingers and his nails became so pale.

"Phai, when we were young, you came into my life all of a sudden. You made a promise that you were not going to leave me. You did promise, remember? With this swing, right here." He took a deep ragged breath as if he was filled with rage. He vigorously turned his head to swing as if he wanted me to look at it too. Instead, I looked down and my lips were sealed. Only frustration and fright were left on my expressions. Only my hand and my arm were moving, tried to resist him, and wriggled free.

"Then you left me alone. You didn't even say goodbye to me. Phai, you suddenly disappeared. Do you know? I was so sad. Damn you. You had promised that you would be with me forever but then you left me alone without letting me know anything. Have you ever known that I waited for you every day since day one you had disappeared? Right here at the swing that we swore to."

Even if his message seemed to be in grief, the tones indicated a rage. That was also the thing that I didn't understand. I was so confused. The one who had left me was Klong, not the other way around. Why would he say things as if a mysterious being was me?

Klong was still staring at me.

"I waited for you day after day but you never came back. I waited so long that I almost forgot about whom I was waiting for or what I was waiting for. But I kept waiting until that day; the day we met again at that swing."

I was thinking about that day. The chill took over my body from head to toe; from the skin to the heart. I was so chilled -- almost frozen even -- that I couldn't move.

"When I saw you again, I was so glad. I was so glad that you made a promise that you would never leave me ever again. I believe in you and I trust you but I don't trust people around you." He ground his teeth and his tones suddenly changed.

"That doc friend of yours. Sun." It was the tone that belonged to somebody who was full of anger. I had never heard such a tone from Klong before. It sounded powerful yet scary. I tried to pull back my wrist away from him still.
"He was just my friend. You didn't need to harm him." While my mouth was arguing with him, my hand was trying to resist him. However, I didn't have that much energy left and all I felt on my wrist was only pain. I thought that there might have been bruises appearing on the skin underneath his grip.