On my way to stardom

31. Concert guest

Ugh, I can't believe Jungkook oppa is making me do it.

Does he not understand not everyone has the world 'golden' in their title? There's no way my fear-of-heights of an ass can fly through the arena like he did. Even if I went on that thing, I wouldn't even be able to hold my notes. I'd either be scared to death.

At the rehearsal, I was so scared I forgot all the lyrics and have to hum the song. Then my legs gave up on me when I got off that hook, my dancers literally had to help me get up, while Jungkook oppa dances to his song when he joins me onstage.

The worst thing is, I promised him that I'd do it on camera! The show starts in 5 minutes, and there's no way I can hide from it.

Woman up, Shannon. You can do this!

I've been watching their show backstage and their stage appearance is impossible to ignore. They use 'ON' to open the show which brings the whole arena to a hype. Jungkook oppa's solo in the bridge is just insane. He's pushed his notes to a high F and I don't think I can hit that. Their choreography is just so in-sync, you can just tell how much time and effort they put into practice.

The speech they give to ARMYs is also so touching and inspiring. Some of the fans shown on the screen are even crying when they're sharing their memories the past 7 years they've been together. They've come such a long way even though sometimes they still act like kids. It's the innocence and determination that they still have from their debut that make them one of the greatest musicians in history.

After an intense medley, it's time for their solo stages. Yoongi oppa goes first, then Hoseok oppa. After that, he will introduce me.

I don't let myself sit down or stop to watch their performances for too long. I have to keep warming up so I can forget some of the nerves. Ugh, I wasn't that nervous when I had my first debut showcase.

Maybe that's because all 4 of my shows combined still have a smaller audience than this show. It must be that.

I am performing in front of over 80,000 people in five minutes, ahhhh.

Hoseok oppa is already on stage while Yoongi oppa just came down. He gave a pat on the shoulder and heads back to change into his next outfit.

I am now wearing one of their tour merch T-shirts and a pair of denim festival shorts. The scar has faded a lot already but if you look closely, it's still there. But I don't really care anyways. Ae Na unnie put on a rhinestone each under my eyes, she said it'll look like my eyes are sparkling when the spotlight is on me.

I love Hoseok oppa's solo songs. Most of them sound so cheerful, I can't wait to perform them on stage!

'That's my ego!' He finishes his song with the audience screaming for him. 'Please welcome our guest. My sister from BigHit, SHANNON!'

The lights are turned off and the platform I'm standing on slowly ascends to the top. It's on.

'Sydney, let me hear you scream!'

Seas of people are now cheering right in front of me. Oh wow, virtually everyone is holding up their ARMY Bombs and they've collectively turned blue. How do they know that's my favorite color?

There's no time to wonder the smallest things.

I perform my debut track 'Ticket' which surprisingly so many people know. They are even singing along the English lyrics!

The lights on stage dim for a brief second after 'Ticket' ends. Then the backing track for the medley I've been preparing for plays.

Hoseok oppa's 'Trivia: Just Dance' is on first. I already lost count of how many times my tongue has gone numb from practicing his rap. It's the choreo that I'm worried about because it is incredibly hard to have Hoseok oppa's energy level and effect on the audience.