high school sweethearts | cranksepticeye

10 - flood

a/n: I usually do a chapter from sean's pov and then one from ethan's and then keep doing the chapters like that but I couldn't think of anything to write from ethan's pov so this is from sean's again

i pulled my keys out of my pocket, nervously trying to find the house key. i dropped them a few times because i was shaking so much. i wished i'd have just listened to eveline. i wished i'd stayed at home like she told me too. i eventually found the right key and used it to quickly unlock the door, rushing inside the house and shutting it. i couldn't hear or see anybody else.

memories were still flooding my brain at an intense rate. there was so much i had forgotten and so much i wish i couldn't remember. how could i forget that whole ordeal with felix? the one where i was separated from the group and made to feel alone, the one where the anger from the situation mixed with an evil comment about my father caused me to stab a classmate and get suspended? how could i forget going back and feeling unwanted and feared? and of course...how could i forget ethan?

i dropped to my knees and hid my face with my hands, sobbing into my skin. i didn't know what to do. i wasn't even all too sure how i felt. this had become such a problem for me that i'd completely forgotten about me and eveline's argument and that she was still mad at me. but i didn't really care anymore.

"babe?" i heard her call. i looked up, tears blurring my vision. i wiped them away and saw my girlfriend stood at the top of the staircase. she began to run down to me and knelt down by my side, putting a hand on my back.

"are you okay? what's wrong? if this is about what happened earlier i'm not mad at you anymore and i'm sor-"

"no, it's not about that!" i cried in sadness and frustration.

"then what is it?" i looked down at the ground to see a small pool of tears had formed on the surface.

"i remember..."

"remember what?"

"everything...ethan."

***
i heard eveline walk upstairs and watched from the bed as she entered the room with a small smile on her face. she was carrying two cups of coffee in her hands. she placed one down on the bedside table and handed the other to me. i thanked her and stared at the drink in the mug.

"i don't know why i'm having a coffee...i already had two frapuccinos today. i'm gonna have a heart attack." i let out a weak chuckle and took a sip of the drink, not daring to look up from it once.

"so you really remember everything?" she asked concerned. i nodded slowly.

"about high school and that time i got suspended. about the whole situation with felix and the guys...ethan..." she sighed when i said his name. probably because he was my ex.

"you remember what happened between you two?"

things are just difficult right now. i'm sorry. this is for the best.

my eyes filled with tears again that dripped into my coffee mug. i loved him. and he hurt me.

"yeah." she put her hand on my thigh and rubbed it soothingly.

"this is why i didn't want you to go today. i didn't want you to be reminded because then you'd get like this."

"why did i forget?" i asked, not all too sure if i wanted to know the answer. eveline sighed before taking my free hand in hers and cupping it gently.

"when you and ethan broke up...you became very stressed with everything. you could never relax. you started to lose a lot of sleep and the workload from your course was making you even worse. you were still pretty shaken up from all the stuff that happened in high school even though it was all sorted out. you started to bottle things up and you wouldn't talk to anybody which stressed you out even more. and after a while you started to forget things...only little things at first, like due dates for assignments and names of students and professors. but then you started to forget the stuff you'd learnt from your course, you started to forget stuff about me and your other friends. then a few months after you two broke up i asked you if you and ethan had talked at all since...and you didn't have a clue who he was. i talked to the nurse about it, and she said you were probably dealing with chronic stress. it damages your brain and makes you forget things. you started to relax and calm down near the end of college, that's why you don't forget stuff now. but even when you'd gotten better with the stress you still couldn't remember the things you'd previously forgotten. so ever since i've been going out of my way to make sure nothing triggers those memories since i heard that can take a huge toll on people's mental health...and here we are."

I looked away from her and sighed. so that's what happened. I could definitely not remember that. if only I hadn't gone out on that day. I could have gone the rest of my life without remembering those events, without remembering him and how much I used to love him. I didn't want to ever feel the same way towards him again but...with a guy like ethan...that stuff's inevitable.

another a/n: i had this written in my drafts AGES ago so seeing everyone comment about how they think it was eveline making him forget is really funny and i was considering changing this so that it was actually her doing it just to piss you off but i stuck with this reasoning lmao