i think i love you • matthew healy

9. sunset

rhiannon

i find that the days go by quicker when you make yourself as busy as possible to pass the time.

the past month i have been writing again, just a few short poems here and there. some of them are scribbled on the sides of my university notebooks next to my lecture notes, and it's quite embarrassing so i never really have anyone read it. it's all shitty to me, but i suppose it's just for my own private consumption.

apart from writing and studying for exams, i've recently been spending most of my time with alice and ollie. we'd have small gatherings with their friends up on the rooftop, and it's not much, but having people around just makes me feel better lately.

i still talk with matty every once in awhile. we exchange a few texts occasionally. recently he's been sending me reviews of this new VR game he's currently obsessed with. at one point he'd also convinced me to go on instagram, where i finally followed him and the rest of the guys.

one evening alex and i were hanging out by the park, and i had taken a photo of his silhouette by the sunset and posted it on my instagram story. i was surprised to see a direct message from matty a few minutes later.

trumanblack: ?!?!?!???!??!?

he then rang me up shortly afterward.

"hi." i had said. i was already home, alone in my room, smiling like an idiot.

i just like it whenever he calls.

"is that your boyfriend?" matty had gasped, sounding sarcastically shocked like a sixteen year-old valley girl.

"no." i giggled. "why? you jealous?"

"psh... you think i'm jealous?" he then shifted to his low breathy voice that got me weak in the knees. "and what if i am, rhian? is that a problem for you?"

i admit i was mad blushing. "well, he's not my boyfriend. not for the time being anyway. his name's alex, we go to university together, and he's quite nice."

"oh, you know i can't compete with nice, love."

"yeah. he's far from cocky unlike you."

he had yawned. "boooooring."

i couldn't keep myself from smiling. "so how are you?"

we had spent the whole night talking, five hours apart.

they were in new york city. based on matty's posts, anyway.

they're doing shows again, apparently, and have started working on a new album in their hotel room, on top of a shit ton of interviews and photoshoot schedules.

"what a life, huh." i had said at one point because we had probably exhausted all the topics we could talk about, and it was quiet. "you're out and about all the time, people know you, you're like fucking david bowie."

"pretty much." matty laughed softly. "it's all been real mental honestly. the more i think about it the more mad it gets, so i try not to... think too much i suppose." he responded. his voice was scratchy, we'd been talking for hours after all, and i could tell he was tired. "i really miss talking to you, rhiannon."

i smiled softly to myself. "same here."

i haven't heard from him for days since that call.