Third Love's The Charm [PUBLISHED]

Third Love's The Charm

If you could keep on redoing one day of your life, would you? If somehow, you can go back in time to change the past, would you?

I would.

Standing in anguish while my boyfriend broke up with me makes me want to crumble. His strong features, trying to look apologetic, felt like a tower that was about to fall over me. It was horrible, I wanted nothing more but to turn around and run away but I didn't, I clenched my fist and listened to his words.

"I'm sorry."

As the tears started to stain my vision, it took every strength in my body not to fall into a pile of desperation on the ground. Those two words were all that I heard recently, no matter who I try to get close with, they always end up saying the same thing.

I'm sorry.

With a sharp intake of breath, I looked up and flashed him a smile, the corners of my mouth trembling as I did so. He blinked down at me in shock, knowing me well enough to realize that I was on the verge of breaking down. It would have been more dramatic if it was raining or the gray clouds were empathizing with my sorry ass, but that wasn't the case. Yes, it was slightly chilly because of the small glimpse of spring, but the sun was up and happy in the sky.

"It's alright," I told him, thanking the universe that I managed to keep my voice calm and leveled, "I'm sorry for always backing out on our dates and never being there for any occasion."

When I didn't do anything for him on his birthday – even going as far as skipping school – it was the last straw. He asked me out months ago and I was delighted, a cheerful guy like him actually wanted to go on a date with little ol' me.

And I thought we were fantastic together. Of course, that was before the incident.

I told him politely if he could go on without me, because I was sure that he was waiting for me to leave first. He agreed with another apology and I merely watched on as his back turned away on one corner.

A sob escaped my lips and my legs gave out, I sank to the ground with my black leggings hitting the slightly damp soil of the school field.

I'm sorry.

People never stay with you, if he only knew the reason why I had to say no to him, why I was absent for his birthday, why I couldn't be the perfect girlfriend in his mind.

No matter what my doctor said, the drugs never had its effect on me. I told her this and she trialed me for a bigger dose, hoping that it would be enough. Yes, I felt my mind getting lighter but everything seemed to be a trigger for me.

Pathetic, I'm so pathetic.

The oxygen felt like it was depleting, my lungs were struggling to gasp for air, and my eyes constantly roamed around for anything to give me assurance.

Nothing, absolutely nothing.

With my still wobbly legs, I pushed myself up by using the wall as support. I leaned against it, taking deep breaths to even out my breathing but my heart still felt like it was jumping around in my chest. I tilted my head up to see a classroom window, the same place where I left my bag when he asked me to meet him out here.

I started to walk back inside, my sweater felt heavier around my body. The stairs felt as if it was going on forever, in fact, it felt like the trip to the third floor was a climb up a large monument. When I reached the classroom, my bag was on one of the desks right next to the window and I practically crawled towards it.

The window was open, letting the cool breeze enter the stuffy classroom. With my hand on the back of the chair, I peeked out, gazing on the spot where I previously stood.