William
I hum along to the music playing from my phone, studying the food on my plate. Tilting my head, I grabbed the sandwich, gulping.
140 calories for both slices of bread, 80 for the slices of turkey, 90 for the mayoinoise, 0 calories for mustard, 5 for the lettuce, and 104 for the slice of cheese. So roughly 420 (haha) calories for just a simple sandwich...
(Is it bad that I knew all those calories by memory...?)
Maybe I could just eat half of it? Then give the other half to one of my sisters. The thought of all the carbs made my head spin.
I haven't checked my weight in a bit, mainly because I was scared of what the scale said. I wanted to get better, and I have... But I rather be skinny than gain weight...
Last time I checked, I was 110 pounds, I know now I'm close to probably 300 by now if I eat this entire sandwich.
I take a half of the sandwich, lifting it up to my mouth. Just eat it! How pathetic, you can't even eat half of a damn sandwich.
Biting into the sandwich, my taste buds instantly thanked me. I haven't eaten since Friday at the party and it was Sunday night. I spent a majority of yesterday at Anthony's and avoided eating.
My stomach grumbled at the small taste of good, begging me for more. But I also felt sick to my stomach at the thought of all the carbs.
I just contiued to eat the sandwich half, focusing on the music playing. I felt so disgusted with myself for eating so much carbs and for putting too much mayoinoise on the food.
Just breathe, don't be a wuss.
After I finished the sandwich, I felt nauseous as thoughts ran through my head.
You are going to get fatter from all these carbs.
How pathetic are you? You can't even eat a damn sandwich.
You shouldn't have even eaten at all today, you're going to gain more weight.
Go check the scale.
I listened to the last thought, pushing my plate aside. My heart thudded quickly in my chest as I wandered into my bathroom, my eyes landing on the scale.
Just get it over with and see the damage you've caused on yourself.
I step onto the scale, biting the skin on the inside of my cheek to soothe my nerves. I knew I gained a lot, I just didn't know how much I did. Over the past twoish weeks, I've been eating 'normally', so I know the numbers will be through the roof.
A small beep rang through the room, signaling that my weight was calculated.
I glanced down and my stomach dropped, the sandwich nearly coming out.
115.8
Nearly 6 pounds in 2 weeks?! Is that even healthy? I am so damn fat, I swear...
I darted towards the toilet, beginning to shove my fingers down my throat, knowing this is going to be a difficult process.
I am trying to throw up bread and I haven't drunk much today, so it's going to be hard to get it all out.
After pushing my fingers down my throat, the sandwich began to rise from my stomach. I pushed it up my throat, the acid burning my throat as I spit out parts of the sandwich and stomach juice.
It took a while for everything to come out, and afrerwards, I just sat there. I wanted to cry but I didn't. I just felt so ashamed, disgusted, but also empty inside.
