"Hi Marie."
I froze. Every emotion capable of expressing came rushing into my brain and through my veins. It felt like being hit by a bus, or the feeling you get when you get kicked in the back while you're thinking through going down the slide at the playground and you can't breathe. I couldn't think out a response fast enough, my breath hitched in my throat.
"Hi, George." He grinned and turned to Carrie, who stood smiling as if she could read my mind and wanted to answer for me.
"Hello Carrie."
Jesus. If only she knew.
Carrie turned and whispered something into Peter's ear. He chuckled loudly, abnormally loud actually. The adults stared awkwardly between each other, the kids all resorting to looking anywhere but each other's eyes.
My mum suddenly clapped her hands, noticing the obvious tension. "Alright, everybody into the kitchen, I've got tea and supper made, I hope you're all hungry."
"Believe us," Peter spoke up, towering alongside Carrie, hands shoved in his pockets. "Hazza wouldn't get off us about it on the way 'ere."
"Piss off," George grumbled under his breath, fists balled as followed his parents into the kitchen.
Peter always has had a crush on Carrie, it was one of the only reasons he decided to come to these affair dinners my mother hosts anyways. He would study her like a painting, and it was quite obvious as he wouldn't make an effort to try and hide it. Carrie flirted right back, which made me feel 100 times better about George.
We all sat around the dinner table, mum and Harold on either end of the table, and everyone else filled in, George directly across from me. We were all crammed together at our small table, eating in complete silence. More awkward tension, anyone?
"This is delicious, Olivia," Harold spoke up, breaking the tension and I sighed because I didn't have to be the one to do it like I always did.
"Thank you, Harold. It's an old family recipe-" as she rambled, I kept my eyes on my plate, watching how the peas rolled around when I prodded at them with my fork. My legs were crossed, one hand in my lap, and the other busy poking at my food.
My heart stopped, but only for a second when George's foot grazed over mine.
'Just give up. He doesn't feel the same way!' My head screamed. I ran my tongue over my teeth and reverted back to my plate, not even bothering to see if he was looking at me. Studying me like Peter studied Carrie.
"May I be excused?" I asked, not completely thinking before I spoke, my mouth speaking before my mind.
My mother glared at me, the rest of the table joining her and I felt like squeezing myself into a hole, never to be seen again. My heart started beating again when she nodded, and I pushed myself away from the table, quick to get out of the dining room and away from all the stares.
I skipped doubles up the stairs, practically throwing myself into my room before my mother could ask where I was going. I leaned against the door, slowly sliding down as I wished my life was over. Painfully over.
I hadn't noticed my head in my knees until a knock startled me away. I opened my eyes and stood up, opening the door a crack to meet George's eyes on the other side.
"What're ye doing?" I asked, opening it more to slip out and close it. We were only mere inches apart now, he didn't bother backing up.
"I came to check on ye," he said it like it was obvious, running a hand through his hair. "you've been gone for a while...dinner ended a few minutes ago."
"I needed away," I admitted, sliding down on the door like I had earlier on the opposite side. He joined me on the floor, not bothering to leave an ungodly amount of space between us.
"I don't blame ye, with the awkward pauses and all-"
"My mum is sleeping with your dad," I blurted as I mentally beat myself up.
"I know." He said, obvious shame pouring out of him. "It's embarrassing, because my mum knows about it, yet she refuses to do anything."
"Yeah," I agree, wiping under my eyes for no apparent reason then to try and calm myself down. George's hand stuck out, palm facing the ceiling, waiting for mine to slide into it. My eyes met his as if asking for approval, and he grinned.
I grinned back, intertwining our fingers and letting my head fall on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, thinking over everything at once.
"I take it you love me too? Like I love you?" He whispered after a while.
I thought about it. That's it. That's how I felt. It sounds childish, not knowing about love. When you feel it for the first time, it doesn't feel real. It doesn't even feel like it's even there, or if it is what everyone says it is. Love. Ugh, it made chills run up my spine. I've seen what love's done to my mother, Mr. and Mrs. Harrison and their kids. Me and Carrie. Was it as good as people played it out to be?
"Yes."
