THE LAST LETTER

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 27 // 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠

《What if I'm down?
What if I'm out?
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'

Falling - Harry Styles》

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

Yeah, well, I know you think that I'm an asshole, which I'm, but she's a bitch as well. Two years ago, she wanted to be my girlfriend to become the head cheerleader because I was the quarterback and I wanted a distraction to forget about Rachel Grace Williamson forever. Chloe seemed to have seen me devastated, and she took advantage of the situation.

There are moments in our lives where we're vulnerable. And some people just love to see your vulnerability to make the situation work in their favor.

But I can't totally blame her either because we were both using each other. It was fun and all at the start, but then she became clingy. I tried to break it off with her before she could fall in love with me, but being the desperate self, she promised that we would be nothing more than fuck buddies inside these four walls. But now it seems like she'd started to believe that this could work, in some twisted way. As if that's ever possible.

"Why can't you just agree to the fact that we're made for each other. I love you, Luke. Please give me a chance; we'll work this out." She says, standing up. I should've seen this coming. Well, I didn't. Kill me now.

"You promised you wouldn't fall for me; it's your fault if you did. I don't do that 'love' shit anymore. So forget all the ideas of us being in a relationship." I say in my final tone and she yells, "Just because that bitch of a best friend broke your heart, you won't give any other girl a chance? That's insane."

Oh no, she didn't! My anger rises and I lose control, hearing Grace and bitch in one sentence. I stalk towards the bed in one go and hold her by her throat, "Don't you dare bring up her name like that ever again. Do you understand?" I yell and she nods, coughing slowly. I lose my hold on her as I see her turning white and I instantly regret my action. Fuck! How can I let the thought of Rachel control me? I hate her. I hate her so much that I hate myself I ever loved her.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that," I murmur slowly, making her stare at me. "You still love her, Don't you? You always say you hate her, but you don't. That's why you even got a tattoo of the date she left you. And you'll probably take her back if she comes around." Her voice breaks, looking at the tattoo on my left wrist.

Maybe I'll, maybe I won't. I don't know.

"I won't. Stop talking about her and go to sleep. We're going back home tomorrow morning, remember? And for the love of God, stop dreaming about us being an actual couple. It'll never happen." I say, stepping.

"Why?" She says and I look at her confused. She repeats, "Why will it never happen? What's wrong with me Lucas?" She asks, staring into my eyes directly.

"Because I can't love you the way I love her. And it's Luke for you." I say and finally leave the room.

Feelings are transient. It could be there a minute, and in the next, it's gone. But I don't think the love I have for her could ever just disappear because even when I hate her so much, I can't stop loving her. It's like hate and love are the same feelings, felt in different circumstances.