paid debts-rafe

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i parked my car at the front of the cameron household and made way to the front door without a second glance back.
i hadn't realized nobody was home until i was met with the silence from inside.
now that i was forced to recognize it,
i realized there were no cars in the driveway besides my own.
"weird,"
i mumbled to myself.
rafe usually tells me when these things happen so i don't show up unannounced and alone to his house.
to be sure i told rafe of my coming over,
i check my phone for the text i sent.

"omw. see you soon <3"

and though it had been delivered,
there was no reply.
i began to head back out the way i came in,
until i heard a string of curses and strained cries echo from upstairs.
my heart jumped at the sudden noise,
making me quick to find the source.
i don't know what i'd been expecting,
but it surely wasn't this.
there,
in ward's office,
was rafe cameron hovering over a security box.
"rafe? what are you doing?"
i questioned,
watching him look up with wide eyes.
there was a fear in there that i'd been unfamiliar with,
especially in the abyss that were his eyes.
"y-y/n,"
he stuttered,
pushing the hair out of his face.
he was sweaty and there was a crazed look in his eyes that made the worry solidify inside me.
"what are you doing?"
i repeated through confusing thoughts.
he stood away from me and swallowed hard,
all while shaking his head.
"nothing. nothing."
"you're trying to steal your dads money, rafe. doesn't look like nothing to me."
"please..just don't-don't be mad at me."
i threw my hands in an outward gesture,
trying to get him to continue without me prompting him to do so.
not that i had the words to anyways.
he sat himself on the couch nearby and ran a hand of frustration down his face.
"i got involved with someone i shouldn't have, y/n. and-and i owe him a lot of money."
"for what?"
i asked while sitting myself next to him.
i could see him struggling with the words,
scared to disappoint me,
scared that what we had would burst into flames.
i couldn't promise much,
but i did know i loved him.
so,
for what it's worth,
i reached for his hand and intertwined our fingers,
caressing his thumb with mine for support.
"just tell me, rafe. i can help you."
"i got some drugs off of him...and i didn't give him my portion of the money made,"
he explained,
avoiding eye contact.
he looked every where in the room but at me.
"you were selling drugs for barry then?"
i asked for confirmation.
he lowered his head and answered,
"yeah."
i felt enough anger to curse him out.

how could you do this to us?
to your family?
your own life?
what, do you want to be locked up?
throw away your future then, rafe,
see if i care.

i could hear the words,
but they were much too harsh and not at all true.
so i settled for,
"rafe....i thought we talked about this."
"we did. and-and i'm sorry. i don't know what's wrong with me."
his voice wavered as he finished,
looking at his hands to see if the answer was there.
i motioned for him to lay his head in my lap,
giving me time to think while i eased his fear.
"how much do you owe?"
i asked.
and when he told me,
i took in a heavy breath.
i couldn't imagine what drug was worth that,
but i didn't care to ask.
at my silence,
rafe began saying,
"i'm sorry, y/n. i'm so sorry."
"i need you to make good on your promise this time. once you get out of this you're done. for good."
"i promise. i promise. i'll stay far away."
and that was all i needed to hear.
once he fell asleep in my lap,
ceasing to shake and let tears slide from his eyes,
i carefully moved him into a position of comfort then made my way home.
beneath my bed,
was the money saved up from the last decade;
my rainy day fund.
i never imagined having to use it,
especially for a situation like this,
but it was well worth it.
"barry?"
i called out as i now stood in the cut,
just inches away from the only drug dealer in town.
he turned his head and examined me.
"yeah? who are you?"
i handed the cash that was held together by rubber bands and watched his expression change.
he looked entertained by this.
and when he laughed,
that suspicion had been confirmed.
"so you're country clubs girlfriend, huh?"
"shut up. you've got your money, now leave him out of whatever it is you've got going on."
the words felt too bold on my tongue.
i could feel the weight of them even after they'd been said aloud.
barry stood up,
challenged by my words,
then gave me a sickening smirk.
"it's a shame, you know? you're too pretty and smart to be running around with rafe cameron,"
he said his name as though it were a joke.
"that kid don't got shit going for him,"
barry laughed as he sifted through the cash in his hands,
making sure it was the correct amount.
i couldn't stop from rolling my eyes.
"yeah,"
i scoffed,
"you're one to talk. making your living off harassing nineteen year olds,"
he only chuckled at this.
"yeah, sure. i'm the bad guy. i supply the people with what they want, get my money, and go. i'm not evil, just serious about my business. not all of us have a rich daddy to run to when things get rough. or, a rich girlfriend i should say,"
hearing him laugh at his own joke made me cringe away.
"whatever. just...leave him alone. understand?"
"yes ma'am. loud and clear. thank you for your kind donation."
he held up the cash in reference.
i didn't say anything else as i turned on my feet to return to the car.
my heart had never beat this fast,
and it'd sure had never felt this heavy.
***
i was pulled from my dream by the sound of my phone ringing.
i went to reach for it but found that sleep was still lingering in my muscles,
so naturally,
i didn't move.
when it stopped ringing,
i closed my eyes again only for it to pick back up ringing.
i groaned then answered without looking,
"what?"
i rubbed my eyes with my knuckles and heard rafe reply,
"open the door."
i rushed to my feet to see rafe's car parked outside my house.
i hung up and met him at the front door.
"sorry. i was sleeping, obviously. didn't hear anyt-"
"did you pay barry the money i owed?"
he asked abruptly.
i let him come inside before answering.
"uh, no. i don't exactly have that much money laying around,"
i defended as i began picking at the hangnail on my thumb.
"you're lying."
i groaned.
"why would i be lying, rafe? how would you even know that?"
"look at you, picking at your hands. i know you, y/n. and i know this is exactly the kind of thing you'd do."
i made a face of shock at him and shrugged.
"you say that like i have some-some kind of savior complex."
"that's not what i'm saying, at all. just...just tell me. please, be honest with me."
"yes. yes, i payed him. okay? i just hated seeing you so upset and i wanted to help. i...i knew if the roles had been reversed, you wouldn't hesitate to help. so why should i?"
he pulled me into him,
where my face was resting against his chest.
i could hear his heart racing beneath me.
i then felt the brush of his lips to my head when he asked,
"where'd you get the money?"
"just saved it up over the years."
he seemed to hug me a little tighter at this.
"god, i'm so sorry, y/n. for everything."
i looked up at him and noticed his rounded eyes were beginning to water.
"what's wrong?"
"i'm not good enough for you, y/n. you prove that to me time and time again, everyday. but you never hold that against me. i want to be better for you. i will be better,"
he vowed while holding my face into his shaky hands.
i pressed my forehead to his before speaking.
"that's all i'm asking, rafe, is for you to try."
he nodded in understanding then met me for a kiss that was sweet and full of gratuity.
rafe and i didn't have a clue what came next,
but i knew it'd be clear of any more harm.
that was solace enough to keep me pushing.
rafe and i walked,
hand in hand,
up to my room where we would spend the rest of the day in each other's arms.
there was a sense of revelation happening within me as i laid with my head to his chest.
there isn't a thing we wouldn't do for each other.
i wasn't sure how far that would span,
but i hoped to never find out.
though i would always be there to comfort, love, support, and cherish my beautiful boy.
just as he would for me.

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