RANDOM PROMPTS I THINK OF AT NIGHT

Thoughtless

Relief refreshes all over my body at once, as if all weight fled away from my shoulders. The feeling surges quickly, as if I was already one with the air, a mindless eye over the world.

Freedom. It was the only thing I felt.

My eyes feel very much awake, everything was vivid in front of me. But things were never the same. Warm emptiness succumbs whatever's left of me.

I only manage to remember few things, but they're barely as clear than what I actually witnessed. In the wind, I drift like smoke. Like in a cornfield, a drone.

My breath doesn't hitch in fear. As a matter of fact, it seemed as if I never knew the definition of breathing. There was no pain, no suffering, no guilt. If anything, what do these words even mean to me?

What is Life?

At the question, Life appears before me in a cloud of fog, a scenery of blurs and muffled sounds. It was something different. Life meant control, materiality, balance. And in the dramatic display that Life had unfurled deep within me, I had witnessed it all. Life was chaotic, yet fulfilling, Life meant having goals. Life felt replenishing when goals were attained, and when goals were lost, it was as if the World closed in on you, crumbling your very being.

It was mysterious, watching the World caress Life in Its arms. The World housed Life, even while It harmed It in the process. How Life works hand-in-hand with the World remains fascinating to me. And I can't help but watch Time unfold amidst the two of Them.

Still, I find my curiosity trying to press into me slowly as I continue. Along Time, the World, and Life, I found the horrible things. Pain, Suffering, Loss, Grief, Failure, Regret. I witness it all through lively silhouettes, crying their hearts out. One's eye bleeding, one's leg lifeless, one man's eyes leaking of emotions, and a boy lay tired on the ground. The queer sadness tempts to destroy me, and I'm pulled into burning Ashes of Black.

But a louder force calls me. The Silent Light. It radiates behind me, like setting fire to my shadows. Suddenly, things felt light again, it began to turn into the way I've always wanted it to be. Weightless, joyful, stress-free...

...I only wanted that happiness.

The Silent Light continues to brush off the extra burden clinging into me, as It immerses me in a promise; a promise of eternal delight, glory, pleasure, and beauty. The Light doesn't blind me, driving my eyes into different other memories of Life. A boy and a strange friend, a girl with her parents' pride, a quiet boy in class, a boy reuniting with his mother.

Its beauty drowns me with the tempting lure. I connect with its wonder, everything amusing filling me with everything nice. I want to take a step further...I want to see him now.

The man stands amidst the brightness, trying to invite me away from the terror. The Silent Light continues to persuade me to stay with It.

I wanted to go.

One thing pursues to drag me back, however. A striking pain bursts at the back of my head, rippling against my skin as I'm urged to look back at the holographic silhouette behind me. I see them again, but clearer. The one with the bleeding eye, the one with a lifeless leg, the man with tears, and the young corpse.

The one with the bleeding eye, one with a lifeless leg, the man with tears, and the young corpse. The visual crystallizes the more I look at it. Now, the antagonist comes into view, and a young woman being restrained by her arms.

I began to be eaten by pity. An unfathomable sense of pity, like I wanted to swear on these people's lives that they shall be safe.

Only, I remember.

Life has abandoned me.

The World has set me free.

Time bid me adieu.

I'm hit again, and the burning Ashes of Black return for a while. Something pulls me to the ground, and my inside tightens.

I look at the weeping man. That's my father.

Why am I hurt?
Why are You dragging me away?
What did I do?
Why is this so sad for me?
Why do I not want to go?
Why do I not want to say goodbye to these people?

My being is split, having to decide if I must go or stay. Without knowing why, I still struggle to think. Go, or stay? Go, or stay? Every ticking second feels like ripping my soul. My breath returns, then disappears. The pain returns, then disappears. Smoke to flesh...back and back again. Time confuses me.

At last, I resist the Quiet Calls. For some reason, I desire to have myself sucked into the Ashes of Black. The weights return, the sadness, the materiality. It's all familiar. Pain surges again. But I know this is all right.

I remember why I wonder. The emotions and senses that I never knew went missing came back. I smell it. Blood. I hear it. Cries. I see it. My light.

I'm a smoke regaining skin. Then all of a sudden, I feel the agony again, and I'm swallowed into the pits of the Ashes.

But I know. I'm alright.

The Silent Light fades. Life says hello, holding me by the hand.

I had one thing to tell It.
Promise me, you'll keep them safe.

I feel the power. Keep them safe.

I try to hold the pain. I eventually do. Keep them safe.

I'm free...and hurt. Keep them safe.

Life can be painful. But keep them safe.

Keep them safe. Keep them safe. Let them win.

When one faints, when one lapses into unconsciousness...their emotions disappear so slightly. Only thoughts remain unfazed.

"Hit my head?" Never felt.

When one dreams, their emotions scatter, while they stand absent of thought, and reason, and wonder.

"What happened?" I never thought.

The same lies here in death.

Death is the fear of Time, Life, and the World. Death is selfish, unforgiving, unpredictable, drawing lots on who to take.

Death is thoughtless. Death is where I've been.

Still, I had one last thought.

Keep them safe.

Why...did I have the mood...to write this??? Hahahahaha