Coincidences |A Namjoon FF | (completed✓)

32- A mess

Her POV

I lasted a day.

Not even a day to be honest.

Namjoon had left after ensuring I ate my breakfast and took my tablets.

I felt bored by 3:00 in the afternoon after having determined there wasn't really anything I wanted to watch or anything I could really do.

I got a couple of calls from the team but they handled everything pretty well
.
.
.
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Does this mean they could do this without me?
.
.
.

What if I was only hired cause of Namjoon? Like how everyone suspects
.
.
Is this how it's going to be? In someone's shadow?
.
.
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Is this- is this all I'm worth
.
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I try to shake off the thoughts and try listening to music.
.

That didn't help

Namjoon's POV

"Jagiyaaa! I'm here!" I say as I step into the dark apartment,takeout in my hands, 'Seoul' playing in the background softly.

No answer

"Jagiya...?"

I hear a soft "hmmm?" from the living room

I keep the food on the side table as I make my way to the bundled figure on the sofa. Her eyes are glazed over, a vacant stare.

I contemplated my actions and decided to sit next to her instead, leaning her head on my shoulder, singing to Seoul in barely a whisper. Changing the word from Seoul to 'so'

🎶If love and hate are the same words
I love you so...
If hate and love are the same words
I hate you so....🎶 I say as I stroke her head

I feel my sleeve moisten as she silently sobs. I sit there, pulling her a little bit closer.

She had told me of her uncertainties and fears. I had told her of mine.
How sometimes you couldn't see beyond a certain point.
How everything got overwhelming sometimes.
How we'd feel helpless.
It was a part of our late night chats, over a steaming cup of coffee, in my studio when I felt helpless.
She'd silently lend me strength till I could talk about it.
I wanted to do the same for her
We had promised to talk everything out with each other.
Conversation was key in a relationship. And all that talking made us close.
But sometimes, like today

The silence brought us closer.

.....

She told me how she felt useless
Worthless even
How she was afraid
That she would never be seen as herself again
But rather
As my girlfriend

"And that's not necessarily a bad thing- but- it's just that it took me ages to find myself and it's like losing it all over again you know?"

"I know that all too well.... my love" I sigh

"Ahh I'm sorry I'm like this-"

"You need to stop apologizing for everything." I look into her eyes "you never apologize for who you are. It gives people the right to point out your flaws and amplify them. We'll figure everything out. Everything. Even ourselves, cause I know we both don't know ourselves that well either" I add laughing

"I don't know what I have done to deserve you" she says

"Likewise~" I say, earning a soft chuckle

She gets up and says "ahh the food is cold now I'm sor-"
I shut her up by kissing her
Her eyes widen in surprise

"And that's what you'll get if I ever hear you say sorry for no reason again-" I say