"You said, no you sang, you sang that everything was gonna be alright. You said that we'll be alright, Harry. But did you mean that?"
Where Belle Olivia Granger encounters five young boys who happen to be in the biggest boyband on the planet, and sh...
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They say that a guilty conscience never feels secure. It's like your mind refuses to let go of the bondage your own guilt holds you in, always popping up to remind you just when you think you've finally forgotten. I guess the only bright side to a guilty conscience is that at least I know I have one, because for a long time I wasn't sure if I did.
I didn't think I'd feel this way after talking to Zayn, but the guilt I feel is immense. I'm not even sure what's causing it besides the fact that I wasn't able to help him in the way that I thought I would. I don't even know if he's going to stay or not, and that's what scares me the most. He seemed so adamant on this being his last tour, so when it ends in October, I'm not sure what the fate of One Direction will be.
But I think my real guilt comes from what happened with Louis. I know there's no reason to feel this way, because Louis isn't upset with me... I think, but somehow the guilt is still managing to keep me in a choke hold. The look on his face when Zayn chose me over him is something I can't get out of my head, so as soon as Zayn abandoned me, I went on the hunt for Louis, quick to find him sitting alone in another dressing.
Music has always been my therapy, and the same obviously goes for Louis. When I find him, he's laying on his back with legs thrown over the leg of the couch, headphones in his ears and a journal in one hand with a pen in the other. He's furiously scratching out something he's written and muttering under his breath.
Where I listen to music when I'm fed up with my life and my feelings become too much, he writes it, always articulating beautifully exactly what he's feeling.
This is Louis. There's no cameras with flashing lights and no screaming fans that bring out the best sides of him. There's only a saddened boy left to drown in his feelings with the company of his favorite music and the powerful lyrics in his oversized heart. Even though Tommo lets his anger sometimes best him, it all comes from a good place in order to protect the ones he loves, and he obviously feels like he failed at that with Zayn.
I take in a deep breath as I try to mentally unleash my feelings to hopefully communicate them with Louis easier. He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, throwing his journal and pen across the room and ripping the earbuds from his ears. His bright blue eyes, darkened by anger, lock with mine when he sits up.
All of the fury disappears from his being, but I can tell some resentment is still held within him. At the sight of Lou, my heart sinks, everything I planned to say instantly disappearing from my brain like it was never there in the first place.
"Hi," I finally work up the courage to say in a shy tone, rocking back and forth nervously on my white sneaker covered heels.
"Hi," he mutters back, running his hands roughly over his tired face. He looks like he doesn't want to talk which almost gives me the excuse I desperately wanted to not have to face the boy- the man, with the messy brown hair and striking blue eyes, but I force myself to stay.
