Matters Of The Heart ✔

Chapter Twenty Four

Austin brought Emily from their day out together, and she couldn't stop talking about what a great day she had. She was happy and Abigail loved seeing her like that. Things between her and Austin were less tense and hectic. He seemed to understand that she was moving on with her life as he should with Mira, and they constantly kept in touch, it was mostly about Emily. They had made an agreement that he could take Emily on the weekends and bring her back on Mondays. Everything seemed okay and went back to normal. She could now focus on her wedding that was drawing closer and closer each day.

With the wedding a month away, her schedule was getting more hectic. The feeling that she'll be walking down the aisle was made real as she picked out her wedding gown. She chose an off shoulder, lace long sleeve A-line wedding dress and stood confidently in front of the woman before her. Her mother was already in tears as Stephanie was lost for words.

“Beautiful Abbie”, she remarked as she stood up to help her put her veil on. “This is it Abbie, you're really getting married”

She sighed out heavily as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. “It's really happening”, she half sobbed, half chuckled.

Soon

Mira sank to the floor as she stared in disbelief at the one pink stripe on the stick. She was so convinced she was pregnant. All the signs were there; the nausea, the headaches and the cravings. Her period was even a couple of days late, but it seems that she was hoping to be pregnant, her mind made it seem she really was. Seeing Emily and Austin together triggered something in her, and she thought maybe if she could get pregnant by him, he would actually love her. A baby could change things for them, and they'll be tied for forever.

She was so desperate for his love and affection, it would lead her to the verge of insanity. She was jealous of Abigail because of many things, but the one reason that stood out was that she had a part of Austin with her, Emily was now a priority to him and there was nothing she could do about it.

Austin was never going to look at her the way he looked at Abigail. It was like the only reason he was still with her was because she somehow reminded him of his precious Abbie. The only time Austin let himself to be vulnerable to her was when he was intoxicated and wasn't thinking straight, and she gave in each time. She knew each time they were intimate, he was probably thinking about Abigail at the back of his mind.

Even so, things were still not going according to her plan, she still wasn't getting what she wanted. The last time they were intimate, she thought it would change things between them as she deliberately stopped taking her shot to fall pregnant with his baby, but the next morning, things returned to normal as she woke up alone on the bed yet again, like he somehow regretted spending the night with her.

“Your tests results are back”, her gynaecologist sat opposite her in the office. Mira's heart sank as she watched her friend shake her head. “You're still not pregnant Mira”

“I tried everything Sheila, why am I still not getting pregnant?”

It broke Sheila's heart to see her friend desperate to get pregnant in order to keep and strengthen her marriage. A baby couldn't keep a man who already had one foot out the door. She was just trying too hard to get Austin's attention, she was also not giving herself enough time.

“Maybe you're not the problem; Austin is. I remember you telling me he was intoxicated on most occasions the both of you got intimate. Alcohol can reduce his sperm count”.

“Isn't there another way I can get pregnant, quickly?”

“I'm talking to you not as your doctor, but as your friend. Do not put yourself under so much pressure Mira. You should just let it happen naturally, don't force things. A baby is not going to fix things between the two of you”, she said in a soothing voice but what her friend was telling her wasn't enough. She needed ways on how to get pregnant and not a lecturer.

“You don't understand Sheila”, she stood to her feet. “That doesn't work for me”

Mira found herself standing outside the window of a baby shop, with tears streaming down her face as she looked at the baby essentials. Her imagination running wild with her as she played out events in her mind, with Austin rocking their baby to sleep and her leaning at the nursery door frame, taking the both of them with her eyes and being thankful for each moment they shared together, but it was all just a dream. A beautiful dream that was still far away from happening. Why couldn't she get pregnant?

The feeling got worse when she arrived home, only to find Austin making a photo album of him and Emily together. He looked genuinely happy when the little girl was around him. He turned to see her standing above him. His heart sank at the sight of her, with tears in her eyes. She had completely blanked out as it pierced through her that she would never be the reason behind his smile.

“Hey. Are you okay?”, he placed the album aside and stood up to meet her gaze. Her teary eyes somehow made him feel bad about everything that had been happening. He didn't even bother to ask her how she felt about Emily spending some nights with them. He did as he pleased without thinking how it would sit with her. He couldn't remember much of their relationship, but the fact remained, she was his wife, her opinion was valuable.

She couldn't even utter words out of her mouth, so she just nodded before she bowed her head to quickly wipe the tears that were streaming down her cheek. Shivers went down her spine as she felt her face being cupped into his hands, raising her face to find his eyes already searching for hers.

He hasn't seen her cry before and seeing her like that caused guilty to wash over him as concern rained from his eyes. “Why are you crying?”, his voice was gentle and soft, and she immediately found comfort in him being so close to her. It's all she ever wanted, for him to show that he cares.

“It's nothing”, she laughed nervously as she tried to brush him off. His hand traveled down her body, resting on her waist as he pulled her closer to her as the other caressed her cheek softly, instantly giving her goosebumps all over her body. His touch meant something to her, she couldn't even put it into words how she felt when he made any sort of physical contact with her.

“Talk to me. What's the matter?”

She tried to hold herself and not be devoured by getting lost in his eyes. She bit her lip nervously as she dropped her eyes from his burning gaze for a second.

“Mira....”, his voice trailed as she rose her eyes again to look at him. She sighed heavily before opening her mouth to speak,

“You're probably not going to like what I'm going to say to you, but-”, she paused before his eyes dared her to continue again

“I'm pregnant”