I Crushed Her

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Kara's POV

As soon as I left Lena's office, I let out a breath that I didn't even know I had been holding. I left the building as fast as I could, I wanted to get out of there and never look back, I wanted to disappear and never come back. Not after what Lena said, she was really hurt,  hurt by me. I caused her all that pain, so the least I could do for her is get out of her life forever. Entirely.

I went to CatCo to give Snapper the interview from L-Corp and immediately left for the one and only place they had what I needed right now. The alien bar! I needed something to take away the pain,  and every other emotion I was feeling. I wanted to get out of my life and feel nothing, nothing at all because if I let myself feel any emotion, I'd do something I wouldn't be able to take back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Five hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, how long has she been here?" Alex asked the bartender

"Uh... about five and half hours approximately, it might be more because when I started my shift, she was here" the bartender replied.

"Hey, let me take you home," Alex offered but it sounded more like a question to me

I couldn't bring myself to argue with her, I was tired, tired of everything. So I just let her take me home.

After a long quiet ride, we arrived at my apartment. I held Alex for support because I couldn't balance myself, I could feel my head spinning. 

I couldn't remember where I put my house key, but the good thing was that Alex had my spare key.

Alex put me on the couch and got me some water and Advil for my thumping head.

"Is this about Lena?" Alex asked

"What gave that away?" I replied with no emotion at all, I was very sure that I sounded so void and barren

"You're my sister, I can tell when things are not okay and I know there is only one person who can hurt you as this" Alex said

"Alex, I hurt her real bad, she is really hurt and in pain. I don't know if she will ever forgive me for this. She said that I was worse than the rest of her family, and you know what really hurt?..the fact that what she said was true, I am worse than her family. I told her to trust in people again, I promised I would never hurt her and I ended up doing the exact same thing I promised I wouldn't do. I hate myself for it. I hate myself because I broke her. I could hear the pain through her voice, she was trying really hard to be okay but she is not okay and I'm not sure if she will be okay anytime soon"

"Hey look at me..., just give her time okay? she will be alright, she is strong, stronger than you know."  Alex tried to cheer me up

"Okay"

"Now get some sleep, you really need it and I'll see you tomorrow morning. Good night" she said, walking towards the door

"Good night!"

Before Alex left my apartment she turned around and said, "I love you".

At the time it didn't make me feel any better, it only reminded me that the woman I love is hurt and in pain because of me. So I just said okay and then Alex left.

I went to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning, all I could think about was Lena.

The house was silent, and the only thing that was loud was my thoughts. It was like I could hear them out loud. Yelling and screaming at me. And I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, I couldn't hold it back any longer.

So I cried my eyes out to sleep.

It was the only thing I could do.

Only cry.



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