Love is Beautiful (She's so Ugly)

Epilogue

Five long years had passed and everyone started talking about a certain book. Lisa had told Merida about it but she was too busy and she isn't interested in such cliché romances. It all has the same old story; girl and boy meet, they fell in love, conflict arises, they makeup and boom! Together again.

"You have to check it out! It's like we were the characters in that story!" Lisa yells through the phone that hurt her ears.

"You are being ridiculous!" Merida exclaims.

"Leo seemed to be the author!"

And that stopped Merida from taking another step. That name has long been not mentioned at all. Suddenly, it is like fate is trying to do something for them to meet again. Don't get her wrong, she and Jacob are doing fine. But Leo hasn't really left her heart.

"You're just tripping," Merida awkwardly answered Lisa. "Leo is probably out there somewhere wandering the damn earth!"

"No! I swear, I asked Yuri to check the book too. Tell the rest and let's see what they'll say. Our names are exactly the character's names!

Merida rolled her eyes, sighing. "Fine! I'll buy it later! See ya!" She hung up and texted the guys about the book Lisa had told her.

At her dorm, before she can enter, her landlady handed her a package. It has a pretty beautiful wrapping. It didn't say where and who it came from but she opened it anyway as soon as she was inside her room. The smell of roses filled the air.

A box full of dead petals?

At first, she thought someone was pulling a prank on her but then she found a letter and a notebook? It was a glittery— Leo! Her heart then started rising in excitement. She took the letter and read it.

Hey there Love! How are you? Today is exactly five years ago when we bought notebooks together. I hope you still have that butterfly covered one...because I still have the glitters. You probably haven't read my book ... you're halfway into finishing your doctorate, I hope. I never got the chance to say a proper goodbye nor introduce myself to you. This notebook will do it for me, but before you read it, I want you to be brave enough and to know I didn't regret anything but being a coward.

That was what the letter contained. It left Merida into puzzles. Introduce his self? She nibbles her lower lip and decided to take the glittery notebook. She took a deep breath and exhaled. Then she opened the notebook. The handwriting was so clean and impressive but the first few words hurt her so bad.

***

Use me all you want and you did.

I'm Leo Clark Thunderberg and I'm that sick boy you met a long time ago. I lived most of my life in different hospitals. That afternoon, I had enough of my parents fighting over how to handle a weak boy like me. I hated how the voices that once soothed me to sleep turned to loud screams. I decided to go for a walk and then I saw you. You know what happened.

It wasn't Jacob who saved you first. It was that diseased boy. It was me, Love.

I had met your mother a couple of times and she was nicer to me than my own mother. I was hoping you'd come and visit me once more but ...you never did.

Time passed and I still survived my life but barely living it. I transferred to our school acting so normal yet battling my chronic pancreatitis. It started as acute pancreatitis and upgraded to chronic because my pancreatic tissues were slowly destroyed and scarring occurred. And to my worst-case scenario, it turned to pancreatic cancer. Though it wasn't a common case, I guess I was just maybe unlucky.

I saw you the first time I got transferred. I saw how you don't do anything to fight the mean girls back. Since I helped you before and told you to fight back, I walked away and pretended that I never saw you getting beaten up. I wanted you to fight back for yourself yet it pains me every time I see a bruise on your face.

I tried to tell my sister about the bullies but she never listens and for that I hated her. I'm sorry I didn't help you. I didn't want to get involved because I know I'm never going to be always there for you.

You aren't aware but I was intentionally seated in front of you for me to hear every sigh and every mumble you make. I noticed everything... every cry, Love.

And then when Jacob started to notice you, I got alarmed. I decided I should at least help you as fate kept bringing us together. You were so nice to me... and I hope I was nicer.

That night when Candice tied you up inside the shower room, I freaked out. I almost crashed my car at a tree. My heart was pounding and even though my illness was trying to hold me back I held it back. I was so eager to save you that I didn't care about me.

When you moved away from me because Jacob told you to, I respected that. But as I said, fate kept bringing us together and that's when we bought the notebooks. I told you I'd write on it and here I am...writing down my feelings so this notebook will live.

Also, that night when you were too in love to notice, I was hurt. That night marked my painful times. I got too frustrated, upset and grumpy but I didn't want to be angry at God.

When Jacob broke your heart, I wanted to punch him... but when he regretted what he did I chose him to be with you. Loving is choosing and I chose to love you like this.

It was okay for me that you use me to ease your pain. Don't feel bad. Again, it was my way of loving you. My life wasn't worth anything anyway so don't be sad about it. I only let you know how hurt I was when we went sailing but then you cried. You felt bad and lied to me about how you feel towards Jacob. I don't like it when you lie because it was too painful.

The dead petals on the box were the petals of the bouquet I was supposed to give you during the farewell ball, graduation and my failed attempts to give you a rose each day. I saw how you were so happy with Jacob and I was painfully happy too.

If you ask me why I didn't fight for you, it's because I am not selfish. Also if I did fight for us, I would've still hurt you... I didn't want to hurt you. This was my only role to play. To be your temporary knight in shining armor when I know you're somebody else's princess.

The times when I asked you what you were going to do in the future, I never once heard that I was included in that tomorrow. It hurts but I'm happy. For a long time I have suffered, I'm still thankful to have met you. I was honestly amazed when you once wrote a paragraph about me. That you've been saved by a boy and that you longed for his calming gaze and bright smiles. You've been gazing at me. You also said, if you were given a chance to have known me, you would.

You finally met me... but then you've lost me. Our story is a lifetime too late.

To that book I wrote, I know you'll probably think it has the same ending as most romance book does, so hear me out. Those people who read it thought it was about a happy love story between Merida and Jacob... but it was actually about the bittersweet story of Leo and Love. And would you look at that, our name both starts with L— lucky ones who didn't make it.

This is our 'the end', Love. I hope you still have that same expression when you looked the other way... because you're beautiful. Love is beautiful.