Forgotten Ghost | Natasha Romanoff

Chapter 23: Blame

Katya did not look forward to the talk at hand.

Both her and Natasha didn't like talking about feelings and things that were bothering them. Usually, they stored it all away until it either imploded or exploded, most of the time in a really ugly way.

To avoid that, Katya took the leap today and decided to talk about everything before Natasha had closed off that subject and moved on.

Two short knocks on the closed bedroom door -a bad sign-, alerted Natasha of Katya's arrival. Normally, she would just barge in, but the state Natasha was in was a little uncertain so she knocked anyway.

Not waiting for an answer, Katya opened the door and closed it behind her, creating a little privacy as far as that was possible in this house with six people in it.

Natasha sat on the bed, back against the headrest, knees pulled up to her chest. Beside her lay a book, open, upside down. It looked like it hadn't been touched in hours. Katya had caught her staring at the red wall in front of her, the thoughts in her head way more interesting than the story on paper.

Clint painted the walls in the spare bedroom red as a joke, because Natasha was the only one sleeping in that room. It practically belonged to her. It meant a lot more to her though, something she had never told Clint. When he painted this room in her colors, he gave her something she had never had before.

Green eyes focused on Katya as she walked in, the rest of Natasha's body not moving at all. ''Hey,'' she whispered. 

If any other person besides Clint or Katya would have walked in, the pain and doubt in her eyes wouldn't have been visible and she would have pretended to be fine. But with her friend and girlfriend, it was of no use.

''Hey, Red.'' Natasha rolled her eyes every time she used that nickname, but Katya knew she secretly loved it.

She walked over to the bed, where Natasha scooted over so she could sit next to her. Katya would have gathered her in her arms, but because of her stupid arm, she couldn't, so she opted for brushing her hand through the short red hair. 

Natasha closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of fingers in her hair. For a while, it was silent, the conversation hanging above both their heads like Damocles' sword, neither wanting to give up this peaceful silence yet.

When Katya's fingers finally stopped moving, Natasha knew what was coming next. ''Tell me what's going on in that complicated mind of yours.'' The words were almost a whisper, the sound too loud in the otherwise very quiet house.

That was always the biggest shock whenever they came here. In D.C., even though the Triskelion was surrounded with a big lake and wasn't right in the middle of the city, loud city noises like sirens and car horns were ever present. Here, in this little house in the middle of nowhere, there was nothing. 

No cars, no traffic in general, no noises besides birds and the wind blowing through the trees. And the occasional child running through the house. Just... silence. Real silence. It calmed Katya down but at the same time made her feel uneasy. Like something were to happen at any moment.

Natasha smiled, turning her head just enough so she could look at Katya. ''You're demanding today. I'm usually the demanding one.'' 

She tried to change the subject with the joke, but that wasn't going to work today. ''Sorry Nat, you're not getting out of this one,'' Katya muttered with a faint smile.

The smile disappeared, Natasha's eyes returning to the spot on the wall. ''Just trying to process the fact that we fought aliens yesterday,'' she admitted. Her ability to sit still without fiddling was admirable.