Rebel Rebel |harry styles| - ongoing

TWELVE

The Zombies: The Way I Feel Inside

Essie

Drinks with Matt were happening tonight, and I was weirdly nervous. I don't know why, maybe because I'd not been on a date for so long, but maybe because I had a genuinely good feeling about him.

Harry and I have not been talking much the last couple of days, it seemed as if he'd become upset with me, but I knew he wouldn't honestly tell me what was bothering him, not without a struggle to yank it out of him. There was also the chance that he was busy in the studio and I didn't want to interrupt the creative process the band was going through.

'Will you be ready by 8? I can pick you up?', Matt's text read. I almost answered affirmatively but opted not to at the last moment. My mom never really offered solid advice when it came to dating, but she did tell me never to let a man pick you up for a first date. It eliminates the awkwardness of you not wanting him to come in after, and if the date ends up being horrible you can just find your own way home. So, I told him I'd meet him at the bar if he'd be so kind as to text me the address.

"Have I caught you in a bad moment?", I picked the phone up without checking the caller ID, and Harry's voice surprised me from the other end of the line.

"Not really. Glad to see you're still alive, I was beginning to think you were upset and decided to never call me again.", maybe I was being too forward with what I'd said, but it felt better to voice my concerns than to stay quiet and continue pretending everything was fine.

"I've been busy, Ess'. If you want, we could hang out tonight?", shite, this was not going well.

"I'd love to, but tonight won't work... other plans. Tomorrow?", I crossed my fingers in hopes he'd agree to a slight altering of plans and I could almost hear him thinking.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow night then. At yours?", I nodded and then remembered he can't see me, "Okay. Have fun in the studio.". My place kind of became our little den, it was where we felt the most comfortable, but I was starting to think he was purposely picking my house as our spot, because he still wasn't comfortable having me over. Dunno how that made me feel...

The place Matt picked was a bit weird, it was somewhere between a bar and a restaurant, there was live music that sounded a bit depressing and there generally weren't many people inside.

"This looks a bit doggy, doesn't it?", I greeted him with a hug, hoping to break the tension.

"A friend recommended it; he swore they had the best music. I have no idea what this is.", Matt laughed awkwardly, he was cute.

"Honestly, it's not important, we'll make the best of it."

And we did, we had fun. Matt was easy to talk to and we agreed on a lot of topics. He was polite and had good manners, a real gentleman. His humour wasn't that much like mine, but I still had plenty of laughs. I began to wonder why this man was still single...

"Would you like me to give you a lift home?", he asked as we were leaving the bar. I hesitated for a second, but my mom's voice rang through my mind.

"I took my car but thank you, though. I had a lovely time tonight.", it was that weird moment where at the end of a date you weren't sure if a kiss would happen, and you weren't sure you'd want it to. Matt apparently felt differently as he leaned in and connected our lips gently. It wasn't a bad kiss, on the contrary... I just wasn't feeling it.

"I'll call you soon. Drive safe, and text me when you get home.", he saw me to my car. I had a weird desire to speak to Harry right away. As soon as my phone connected to the car's Bluetooth I dialled his number.