𝗧𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗦『𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗼𝘆𝗮 𝘆𝘂𝘂』

🌸San-juu-nii🌸

THIRD PERSON

The rest of the day went on like usual. Practice still proceeded smoothly. Well for most part it did. Koharu tried her best not to let anyone notice that she's a mess right now. She tried to smile like the usual, tried yelling at Hinata and Kageyama like before, but what she couldn't do is look Nishinoya's way. She couldn't. She didn't know what expression to make when she face him.

KOHARU

I don't know what to feel. Should I be angry at him for lying? Should I be sad because what's between us is ending? Or should I be crying because I'm feeling too much pain inside me? I don't know anymore. It didn't help whenever he walked too close to me and smiled like nothing ever happened. Does he intend to keep that fact hidden from me? Was that his goal from the start?

Many more questioned flooded my brain throughout the whole practice. I missed spikes that I never once did in my entire time as their manager. Even Takeda-sensei asked me if I was okay, and I answered him with a lie. It's always been like this. Me hiding everything from everyone just because I don't want to be seen as weak.

"Good job everyone, see you guys at practice tomorrow!" I beamed right after our usual practice routine finished.

Yū walked over to me, "Haru! Good work! I'll just wash up quick then let's go home?" he said with the same big smile on his face. My eyebrows furrowed seeing him like that, I couldn't hide my feelings when he's right in front of me. It became too much for me to handle.

I didn't answer. I stayed silent until he ran off together with Tanaka to the bathroom. Turns out, staying quiet was the right decision. If I even opened my mouth for a bit, I could've said a lot of hurtful things to him. I could've called him names that I shouldn't. And I could've hurt him and I never want that. I love him. Even though it hurts to do so.

"Senpai?" I flinched, hearing Kei's voice from behind me. Turning my heel, I faced the two of them. "What's wrong?" asked Kei, taking a step closer to me.

I forced a smile before shaking my head, "N-Nothing haha. Are you guys on your way home?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yes" Kei replied shortly.

"L-Let's go home together" I grabbed Kei and Hikaru's arms before walking speedily towards the gate.

"Aren't you going home together with Noya-san?" I stopped dead on my tracks when Kei asked again. Biting my lower lip, I tried to maintain my composure before looking at him again.

"I-I'm going on ahead because Mafuyu called me that she needed some help hehe. So let's go?"

Kei exchanged looks between me and Hikaru before answering again, "Alright. I'll walk you home. You can go on ahead busu (ugly)"

I felt guilty seeing Hikaru's small figure disappear into the distance right after Kei told her to go. Silence ruled between Kei and myself as we started walking. Should I talk to him? He didn't put on his headphones. Does this mean that he's waiting for me to talk? I don't want to. Although these feelings are eating me inside, I don't want to tell this to anyone. It would seem like I'm a pathetic and weak person.

"Senpai" Kei called out. I hummed and continued walking. "You're acting weird. Did something happen?"

A lump instantly formed in my throat when I heard his question. I wanted to yes. Something happened and it hurt me a lot. But the voice inside me screamed no. "No.... nothing" was all I could ever say.

"You were fine when you were at the club room earlier. Something happened at the storage room right, Senpai?" he questioned, hitting a bullseye again.

All I did was stay silent.

"Did Noya-san say something?"

Silence.

Stay quiet Koharu.

......

I can't.

I faced him, "Yū. Yū lied to me Kei. He was lying to me and he wasn't planning on telling me the truth." I started, my voice breaking, "I couldn't be as pretty as Kiyoko-san. I couldn't be a cute girl like the others. My height is so not ladylike. Is that why he still picked her over me? I was constantly trying my best to look good. To be a good girlfriend Kei. Well....maybe I really am not good enough for him. Not now. Not ever"

That was the last I could say until Kei walked closer to me, and placed my head on his shoulders. "You're good enough for me Senpai. If only I had the courage to take you away from Noya-san, I would. I really like you senpai. You were not like the girls who fawn at every single guy in school. You were brave and outgoing and a lot of things that I absolutely love. Maybe Noya-san is the one who's not good enough for you" my eyes widened hearing his sudden confession.

He wrapped his arms around me, and that's when tears silently fell down my eyes.

I wasn't one to cry. But having someone embrace me in their warmth, urged me to let all of these out.

Why is it that I feel so at ease around Kei?

Is it because I grew fond of him too?

Why is he doing this for me?

Deep inside me, I wondered how it would feel if I liked Kei instead.

I wonder if I would shed tears if he was boyfriend instead of Nishinoya.

e n d o f c h a p t e r