Irondad Oneshots

Pain Now, Relief Soon

Trigger warning: suicide

Three months before

Why am I feeling like this? Nothing is even going on! Nothing is wrong yet I'm always sad or angry or anxious over nothing!

It'll pass, yeah this will go away on its own. Just a rough patch. A bump in the road. It'll correct itself.

Two months before

This should've passed by now. I'm just feeling worse everyday.

Dad and I got in a fight today. He said I need to watch my attitude. The attitude in question was my attempt at making a joke but it came off wrong since I'm always mad or sad. Whatever, he doesn't get it.

Why won't it stop? I'm drowning

One month before

It's fine. I'm fine. Everyday I wake up and I put this act on then at night, the act goes away and the feelings hit harder each time.

Maybe I should ask for help. No. I don't want to seem weak. What would I say? "Yeah I look fine and function normally but I'm sad, can someone help me?" "Hi, hello, I'm sad. Make me feel better." God, how pathetic does that sound?

Two days before

I gave Dad my Build-a-Bear we made together on my fifth birthday. He was confused since I loved it and always had it sitting on my dresser when I got older and stopped sleeping with it. I want him to have something to remember me by, a good closing memory of my life.

I gave every Avenger an item of mine to remember me by. Nat was confused, Clint seemed grateful, Thor hugged me, Steve was confused but appreciative, and Bruce looked suspicious of the ordeal. Doesn't matter if Bruce was suspicious though, it would be over soon and he'd be too late. Everyone would be too late to help.

One night before

I can't sleep. I'm lying in bed with anxiety coursing through my veins. I'm terrified to die but even more terrified to continue living. My stomach hurt as I stared at the clock. It'll be over soon.

It's time

I locked my door and sat on my bed. I opened the bottle of sleeping pills and began to take them, handful after handful. When I finally had them all down, I grabbed the utility blade I'd stolen from Dad's lab.

I sliced my forearms wrist to elbow, fast and hard. I swiped the blade fast and hard and ignored the pain before repeating the action to the opposite arm. The pain would be worth it. The worst pain now for the most relief soon.

The pills pulled me into unconsciousness as the blood continued to pour from my arms. And then, it was over. My pain stopped the moment my heart did. And nobody knew it happened until it was too late.

Tony

We had been planning an intervention for Peter. He hadn't been right and he gave away his stuff. He worried us all, especially Bruce since he'd tried the same thing before. But we were too late. I failed him.

I tried to wake Peter up in the morning but his door was locked and FRIDAY wouldn't unlock it. He had hacked the system and shut her off for his room. I used a repulser and shot the door down.

I saw him on the bed, his forearms cut open completely and an empty pill bottle and blade beside him. There was so much blood, all over his bed and the floor. I checked for a pulse and I tried CPR. He wasn't coming back, I was too late and he was too long gone.

I hugged his body tight, sobbing and pleading for him to come back. But he wasn't coming back. Peter was never coming back. He was never going to watch another movie or eat another pancake breakfast with the team or sing along to songs in the car and drive Happy crazy. He wouldn't do anything ever again.

I stopped living when I found Peter dead. I stayed in my lab after the funeral and drank myself unconscious each day. I ignored Steve when he tried to help. I yelled at Pepper when she tried. After Bruce tried, I locked the lab so nobody else could get inside.

Steve

I saw Tony through the lab door, not moving on the floor. It looked different than the times he blacked out drunk. Bruce hacked the system and got the door opened. We were too late once again.

Tony was dead on the ground from alcohol poisoning, clutching onto the Build-a-Bear from Peter.

Sorry for the depressing double-death story, I'm just in my head tonight and needed to vent through writing. If any of you guys are feeling suicidal or depressed, please find help. It's out there.