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I stood in front of the door with the number 612. It was daytime, but the atmosphere of this room was so dark, it felt like it was night.

A few days have passed and it was the last day of March and also the last day of our break. Everyone pretty much avoided the storage at all cost and since the incident no one visited his world again. I still had to go to the storage because of the coin boxes we neglected for days. Everytime I went there the portal would lit up in a bright beige. I was convinced that I somehow got a world too, but the incident kind of traumatized me and always made me take a few steps back. I still wondered if I was stuck in a tunnel or if I really saw my world.

Nevertheless I now stood in front of a room that belonged to the person I wanted to see the least. Saying that I hate him would be a lie since I still remembered the nice times we spent together, but I couldn't call him a friend anymore or even adress him by his name as I was deeply hurt by the things he did to me and the others.

I quietly knocked on the door and opened it. Seungcheol told me he didn't talk to anyone, so he wouldn't reply anyway.

His room was dark, all the curtains hiding the early sunlight. He sat in the corner, facing the wall. Since Seungcheol made sure to visit him everyday the air wasn't as iffy as expected. On the floor was a plate with a half finished ramyun bowl and a glass of water.
"Hi", I quietly said. He seemed to recognize my voice as he straightened his back. He turned around, surprised clearly written all over his face. He looked horrible. He probably didn't sleep or took a shower. And he probably didn't expect me in his room. I sat down in front of him to face him, but he quickly looked down, avoiding eye contact at all cost.
"Wha- Why? S-Soonyoung, I-", he tried to speak up, his voice extremely horse and shaky, as if he was at the verge of crying.
"To be honest, I don't want to see you. I don't want to see your face or listen to your voice and over all I wish to erase you from my memories completely", I said, my voice firm and cold, while I crossed my arms. His head sank even more. I heard little sobs. Usually I would try to cheer him up, but after that incident I felt so hurt that I couldn't care less about my choice of words or his feelings. "Sometimes I even wish that I never started working here, because of you", I kept going. "I can't even enter the storage without getting shivers or flashbacks from that shining portal. Still I'm sitting here in front of the person, who caused these things. I can't even describe my emotions properly that I'm feeling right now", I said. He kept his head low. It got silent as no one spoke up, so I did: "Don't you want to say something too?" He was still quiet, but at least considered talking.
"I- I don't know what to say. I'm just really sorry. I'm so sorry, Soonyoung", he spoke with a shaky and cracking voice.
"Don't say my name. I don't want to hear it from you. Also, don't apologize. I wouldn't forgive you anyway. I'm just here because I want to know why you did this. You clearly planned this ahead. Why did you put yourself, the others and most importantly me in such a situation?", I asked.
"I- I- I was so jealous and just went crazy. I don't know what's wrong with me and I just- I kind of zoned out and let something take over me and I'm just a really bad person", he stuttered. I listened carefully.
"So it really was the reason for all this", I murmured to myself, but still loud enough to be heard. "Do you have anything to ask or tell me other from excuses? It will be our last conversation and hopefully our last encounter as I won't talk or see you again. After this you will be dead to me", I said. He grabbed the end of his shorts tighter and stopped crying.
"W-Why did you... did you took me out?" his quiet voice asked, still stuttering heavily.
"You know, after you told me what your purpose was, I felt so betrayed and furious. I was sad, scared and perplexed as I didn't see any flaws in my behaviour towards you. I kept asking myself why you would do that and what I've done wrong. When we almost got out and I saw you crouched down I knew I couldn't let you down there. Yes, I was crazy enough to risk my and Jihoon's life just for you to get out too. For a person, who wanted to kill me. I wasn't even really scared anymore. It was just one thing that laid deep inside me: The feeling of betrayal. I really liked you as a friend, but after that. You just acted as if all the days and evenings we spent together, all the good times, if that all was in vain and for nothing. You just had me as this one person, who ruined your life in mind, whereas I truly believed that you were a friend. I felt so pathetic. I was so hurt. I may seem kind and friendly, but I have my limits too. Revenge? Yes, I was thinking about that and this was my only intention when I got you out. Leaving you to get devoured in that portal? That wouldn't satisfy my remorse in believing in that friendship nor my feelings in any way. I want you to live, live with that guilt. You're still young and that guilt will hunt you the rest of your life. I will never forgive you, so if you really want to compensate for your crimes, live. Live and learn from your mistakes. Eat, drink, sleep, go out and meet people. Do everything that's necessary to keep you alive and always remember that incident. Don't you dare to try to forget it and don't you dare to stop living. Learn how to deal with that guilt, Lee Chan", I finished and got up. He started sobbing again. I opened the door to go out. I took a last glimpse at him, looked back to the hallway and left.

A heavy feeling was lingering inside me. I hated being harsh, but I felt the need to. Something deep inside me still cared for that boy, but I knew that I had to tell him that. I sighed and went out again.

It was a little cloudy, but the sun was still to be seen. I went to the harbour to clear my mind. After that conversation I was even sadder, but at least I could now stop questioning myself.
"So you met him?", I heard a deep voice from behind, letting me jump up in surprise. It was Seungcheol.
"I told him a few things", I replied sighing.
"Glad you did since I fired him. He will leave tomorrow", he said in such a casual way.
"You did what?", I asked surprised. Knowing the bad luck he had in recruiting members I was sincerely surprised.
"He can't work under these conditions. It's not only uncomfortable for him, but it puts my team in a weird position too. Also, I don't think he's in the right mental stage to work, so I signed him up for psychotherapy. I know that you don't care about him anymore, but neither do the others. We were everything he got. He's all alone now. I thought that I should at least guide him for his new beginning", he explained. I just nodded. I was relieved that at least one person still worried about him. "We also decided to destroy the portal", he added.
"What? Why? It's been there for so long and also is this even possible?", I questioned.
"We don't visit the other side anymore and we don't want something like that to happen again", he said. I nodded again. Makes sense. "Look, Jihoon's coming. I get going then. Need to work again since we open tomorrow", he excused himself and walked off, his spot quickly taken by Jihoon.

We sat down, letting our feet hang out again.
"Ah, what a day. It's not even evening, but I'm already sick of it", I broke the silence. Jihoon didn't seem to listen as he was deep in his thoughts again. "Are you even listening?", I rolled my eyes.
"Sorry, I just thought about something again", he said.
"Just tell me. I already told you that you can tell me everything", I sighed. He was quiet, but then turned his head to me, looking down of course.
"It's just that- I clearly remember seeing the portal close before you touched it", he told me. For a minute I was speechless, sudden anxiety hitting me. Jihoon must have noticed as he added: "But I might be mistaken."
"Yeah, you probably just don't remember seeing it", I overplayed my nervousness. He nodded. What if... I shook my head.

I shouldn't worry about this now...

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