To Build a Home

5 | Normal

The doorbell rang at about 8:30 the next morning. I was still in bed when I heard the pitter-patter of Noah's naked feet slap across the wood floor downstairs. Then the husky stomp of Darren's boots behind him.

"Hi Anna," Darren said as I made my way down the stairs. A young woman, around twenty, in a yellow top and denim pants was standing in the front doorway. She had long red hair and glasses. Noah hugged her leg before running away.

"Hi Noah," Anna said as he fled. She glanced up at me and Darren turned around.

"Ryan, this is Anna. Noah's nanny." Noah repeated Anna's name in the distance. It sounded like he was in the kitchen. Darren continued, "This is Phil's brother, Ryan. He got here yesterday." Then Darren ran off to find the baby.

"Welcome back," she said. She gestured in the direction of the kitchen. "It seems you both already have your hands full."

I held out my hand to shake. "It's very kind of you to stop by." I wanted desperately for this visit not to be like the condolences the day before. "I hope you don't have any more casseroles. The fridge is stocked."

"Oh, I can't cook," Anna laughed. She held her hands up as if to prove she didn't come bearing cooking utensils.

"Me neither. Good thing we have Darren, right? I don't know what I would have done without him."

She looked at me funny, as if I had said something wrong or in another language. Or maybe I had imagined it because her expression quickly changed. "I have to say, I'm so sorry for your loss." She touched my arm. It was warm and sincere. Her manicured nails matched her shirt and I wondered if she painted them every day.

"Thank you very much," I said. There was an awkward pause. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Oh, no. I'm here to watch Noah. I called Darren when I heard the news, I felt just awful. I figured he might need some help, but he said Phil's fancy artist brother was coming to town from New York City. Well, anyway, he said you were covered yesterday and so here I am today."

"That's so sweet of you. I think we're still covered for now. I can watch him while I'm in town." I wasn't ready to tell her she wouldn't have a job when I took Noah back to the city with me.

Darren came back down the hall carrying Noah like an airplane and making engine sounds. Noah soared over and under and around imaginary clouds with his tiny arms outstretched. Then his hand grazed a candle on the hall table and it fell to the floor. Noah began to cry, either from the pain or the noise. "You're ok. It's ok," Darren said. "Anna, will you take him for a minute?" He handed her the baby.

"I know, I know," Anna cooed, cradling Noah in her arms as he continued to cry. She carried him into the living room and rocked him on her lap on the couch. I could hear smooching sounds as she kissed his booboo.

Darren and I remained in the foyer alone. "What's going on, Darren?" I asked. He didn't seem to understand what I meant, so I looked back at Anna.

"I didn't think either of us were ready to take care of a toddler full-time. We're still toddlers ourselves, right?" He dug his elbow into my side as if we were in a locker room, teammates bragging about backseat makeout sessions before homeroom. "Besides, Anna said it's probably best to keep things as normal as possible for Noah until we figure out a new routine. Don't you think? I'm sorry, I should have said something last night, but you never came back down."

"Yeah, sorry, I felt tired." I looked between Anna and Darren. Noah was already calm and playing with Anna's hair as she sang the alphabet. "I guess I could get a few things done around town while she's here. I have to go to the funeral home and call the newspaper."