Within The Bonds

24: Silence

Forty three days....

It's been forty three days since the incident at school. And the nightmare returned to haunt me in my sleep. I had now shut everyone out. I don't speak unless necessary and even if I do, my answers do not exceed a couple of words. All I do all day is lose myself in my thoughts and drown myself in music and sketching. I don't know why I don't want to talk to anyone, it just feels easier this way.

Each and every one of my brothers has tried to talk to me, but I just couldn't bring myself to open up to them. We now stay in a different mansion, and by we; I mean Jack, the twins, Liam and myself, with Jason and Mateo taking turns staying here based on their work schedule. This mansion is owned by our cousin Sebastian.

Seb too has tried to talk me out of my self-indulged isolation multiple times, but I just don't feel like talking. I don't feel like doing anything other than losing myself in my thoughts.

Another reason for my silence is the fact that my brothers are so secretive. They expect me to confide in them and open up to them, but they keep everything from me. At times I feel like I'm an outsider here. All their secret and silent conversations just give me another reason to distance myself from them.

They refuse to answer any of my question regarding the school incident. The news termed it as a terrorist attack, but I knew better. When I asked them about the numerous men dressed in similar uniforms patrolling the outside of the mansion, the only answer I get is 'protection'.

'But protection against what?'

They assured me that the cops have arrested the attackers who invaded the school. So then from whom do we need to be protected and why? And to add to all of this, my security team follows me everywhere like a bunch of lost puppies, which is really irritating.

They claim that whatever their doing is for my safety. Because apparently what I don't know cannot hurt me. And in Xavier's words:"The knowledge of certain things at times may lead you to a place from where returning may not be possible." They provide no further information and that pisses me off. 

As the days pass, I keep asking myself the same repeated question: 'Why?'

'Why did that incident happen all those years ago?'

'Why can't my brothers trust me enough to stop keeping secrets form me?'

Their secretive behaviour causes my insecurities to sky rocket.

'Why did the school incident take place?'

But most of all, I kept wondering: 'Why me?'

But I never got the answer. The only thing I learnt through all this is that everything in life happens for a reason, but sometimes we just have to search harder to dig a little deeper to find it. And that's exactly what I will have to do if I want to find the answers to my unvoiced questions.

I gaze outside the window I'm seated at... the dark skies are clear, littered with starts that look like diamonds and the moon shines brightest of them all. Its soft rays kiss the earth, providing a light of hope in the darkness of the night. The flowers in the garden stand confidently, their vibrant colours looking even more majestic in the moon light. The trees firmly hold to the ground beneath them as their branches are outstretched towards the sky, looking as if they were praying to the skies.

I shiver at the gush of cold wind blowing into my face. I watch as the skies get cloudy, the once visible starts are now shying away behind the stormy clouds. My silent observation is suddenly interrupted by a feeling of warmth on my shoulders.