Chapter 15 - Theres something about you

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There was something about Simon that I just couldn't put my finger on. It had been a few weeks now since we had started hanging out and I felt like he wasn't telling me something. There was that and the feeling of deja vu I kept getting around him.

After the whole Jess visiting debacle, which I had a good laugh over with Simon, we had quickly become good buddies. I'd even say besties. We hung out every couple of nights as neither of us had much company being new to this place. It worked well for us as the magazine began to take shape.

I was working on one of my images for the first issue at home when Simon called and asked to see me. He sounded kinda urgent and I began to get a little worried. Was the magazine about to be pulled? Did I not need to be there anymore? I would find out soon.

He was soaking wet from the rain and looked really anxious. 'Come in. You look froze. I'll find you something dry to put on.' I motioned to my room after I put out some stuff to change into. He wasn't long before he joined me back in the living room.

'Cas, there is something I should probably tell you, that I should have mentioned from the start really. Its not really a big secret if you look hard enough but its hardly something I just broadcast to everyone. I'm gay.'

He's what now? Gay. Well that's a bit weird considering how much time I spend with him but its no big deal. I had a lesbian friend in school. And there was that one holiday...

I try to repress that memory as much as possible. I finally accepted that I had fallen for a boy and regretted how it turned out. But that was a long time ago and it hadn't happened with anyone since. I clearly wasn't gay. I had girlfriends after that. Sure, none of the kisses felt quite like that one. But I was drunk and confused over Star - probably only why I remember it being so good.

I did return to Cali once during my gap year but I knew he wouldn't be there - I mean where would I even start looking for him? He would have been long gone by then being an adult himself. I didn't even know his real name.

'Cas, say something.' Oh yeh, earth to Cas.

'Hmm. So?'

'What do you mean 'so?'? Aren't you annoyed I didn't tell you? Or hate me 'cause I'm gay. Or shocked. Or something.'

'My best mate in school was a lesbian.' I left out the fact I once thought I may be gay. 'And yeh you should have told me but its not just something you say to someone, and now is a good a time as any. Why are you telling me now by the way?'

'Phew! I thought you'd hate me. And I promise I won't try it on, even if you are stupidly sexy.' I blushed at that but let him continue. 'And I am telling you now because a few people at work found out and quit. No big deal, but it'll be office gossip tomorrow.'

'Who quit? I bet it one was Dave in accounts. He looks the sort to be homophobic.'

'Yeh, and his girlfriend Debbie in design. And Margaret, the old bat that makes the coffee. No one else though. I made a bit of a speech at the end of the day and nobody else quit after them. Sorry you couldn't be there, I know you were off shooting for the launch edition.'

'Since your here, you can take a look at what I have managed so far.' I showed him the image I was editing before he came round. It seemed like a good distraction for him.

'Wow, this is perfect. Its for 'How to find the sport for you.' isn't it? Perfect. I think a whole bunch of men will be trying out tennis now. You should have shot me though, I am way sexier than that guy!'

'Shut it you. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can be an ass.' He looked a little hurt by my comment. 'It had to be an ordinary looking bloke or the article would be a little pointless now wouldn't it?'

'You saying I'm weird looking or something?' he winked.

'The exact opposite in fact. You know you're gorgeous.' I hope he didn't read too much into that because he was staring at me for a moment. And it was true, he is handsome. Those eyes are very feminine. I almost forget where I am and who I am looking at when I look at those eyes.

'I best, er, go now then.' He stood up and went to leave. 'Bye.' He gave me a awkward hug before he went. There's that shock again. Maybe it wasn't the booze the first time, but some sort of internal gaydar or something making my defences go up. Doesn't explain why I like it though.

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