I'm trying not to drag out this story, sorry there is so many time skips and it's fast but like... Uh.. I'm sorry for it being shitty hehe.
I offer these cookies as a sorry for being shitty and for what's about to happen ^^^
This and the next chapter is unedited because I am unable to reread and edit it because I will start crying from it. You'll see why.
William
School finally ended, which was a major relief but also a major problem.
I have to spend quality time with my siblings until my parents come home from work. I always had to go to therapy, twice a week exactly, and school was no longer something to distract me from the chaos.
I'm unable to see Nicholas everyday, but I currently didn't care about seeing him or not.
It's just been a rough past few weeks.
I noticed my eating habits have fallen back to how they were before the hospital, purposely skipping meals and throwing up nearly everyday. My negative thoughts worsened and I constantly felt the urge to cut, which I normally gave in to.
All my progress and mental health plummeted all at once and it's started to effect others instead of me.
Grumbling at the text, I just turn my phone off, rolling my eyes in annoyance.
Nicholas and I got into an argument earlier this week. It started off with him asking me over text if I've been taking care of myself and me getting upset at him for being 'up my ass'.
The argument lead to him calling me and us yelling at each other, his words were hurtful and stuck to my mind. Mine probably went in one ear and out the other.
"You can't just push people away when you need help."
"I'm sorry that I just care, I could just stop and let you deal with things yourself. But we both know how what would go."
"Maybe we should just break up since I'm just such a problem to you."
"Cutting yourself isn't going to solve everything, its one of the many reasons you were in the hospital!"
"You're so selfish, I've done nothing but make sure you're okay. Then you repay me by acting like a brat because you don't want to eat!?"
The entire conversation played through my head but only a handful of words caused my heart to ache.
I knew I just frustrated Nicholas more by adding smart remarks and bitchy comment. He probably meant every word he said but maybe not as harsh.
I never realized that I made him feel like a problem or how selfish I really was acting. He's bent over backwards for me and I just throw a fit over cutting and not wanting to eat.
My phone rang and I scowl, declining the call in a heartbeat. My heart ached as I glanced at the gorgeous contact picture of Nicholas, wishing we were on better terms at the moment.
Maybe you should stop being a petty, over dramatic bitch and answer to damn phone! You've been ignoring him for 3 days, asshole.
Every single time a message would pop up or he'd try to call, a wave of guilt and heartache hit me like a truck.
He probably needs you right now and you're being a selfish bitch.
What if he did need me? Last night, he tried calling me a handful of times, but I ignored every single one of them. I'd clear my notifications everytime he texted, not wasting my time to read them.
