Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Jacob: Adrift

Title: Adrift

Author: Sebastien6teen

Reviewer: Prince_Pretence

Blurb: 3.5/5

I like the entire sound of it. It's incredible how the whole thing almost sets you in a mood of mystery and adventure and a young man who has literally given up on the world and a young woman who does not wish to give up so soon. The contrast is fantastic here, so I don't have any critique to offer. This is, so far, the only good blurb I've read in my reviewing times.

But there is this part:

would always resign to purer intercourse with the forest

—and I was slightly confused. The terminology here is giving birth to various weird imagery, so maybe make this simpler? The use of future tense [would] with an 'always' is one more thing that made me question the timeline of events. Although this is more of a grammatical error, it's entirely up to the writer to fix this, since it doesn't hold many consequences.

And then the part where Jane's rough life is talked about. This part:

having been through so much, it's no wonder

—can be removed and it will still make a lot of sense. This line is repetitive since we already learned that Jane had hit many rough patches. I like Jane, already. Also, little attention can be paid to the general formatting of the blurb.

Cover: 1/5

Please change it. Two reasons: while it's undoubtedly appealing and gives that mystery vibe, the whole arrangement of visuals [the man] and the text is not coordinating. The fonts aren't lovely. The entire cover looks dull and grey—and takes away the representation of a possibly good book.

Grammar: 3.5/5

Smooth, but then again, I'm not the most prominent judge of grammar. A quick rereading ought to smooth out the misused adverbs and nouns. Although, I've something to say about how the book is written, as in the Writing Style, so if [and when] you take my advice and do the changes, I'll suggest utilising your language. Thrillers are known for their quick style, that is, not stretching the scenes or chapters like the rest of the genres. While things in Adrift drift quickly, a heavy toll is exacted on the imagery and emotions conveyed; they're so limited, that they're absent.

Character Building: 3.5/5

There are two characters in the book: Jane and what seems like Edward. My biggest surprise came from the character development of Edward, right from the blurb to the chapter I ended on. He is SO not the man that his subtle description provides in the blurb. Like, a refined version of the guy from American Psycho. Can't remember his name, but Edward resembles him so much and yet he is enormously worse and I swear on all my life, I've never hated a person more. Don't get me wrong; I don't hate the character as a character. It's the person that the role *is* that I despise. He is creepy, scary and twisted. I've read about a good share of psychopaths, but Edward takes the icing of the freaky cakes. Good job creating such a—person. He is not human. He shouldn't have done what he did to the dog. And I want to read about him more.

Jane, on the other hand, is the object of Edward's interest and is therefore supposed to be attractive to the readers. So far, she is nothing extraordinary or 'memorable' in any sense. While a character doesn't have to have big skeletons in their closet to appear different, Jane is introduced to us as someone who does have a lot of bones to hide. And yet, that part is never explored. We're told that she has gone through many rough patches, but never shown any of them. It can be argued that insight on her painful past is offered in the book, but here's where the Writing Style of the author makes a difference—more on this in the Writing Style section.