Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 3 Episode 43: Make Your Time

Fade in on Doc (O'Malley) standing on an icy precipice

O'Malley: Hahahahahahahahaha. You fools have fallen right in to my hands. Only now, do you realise the folly of your follies, hahaha. Prepare for an oblivion, for which there is no preparation! (evil laugh)

Simmons: O'Malley! The Reds and Blues are working together now! You can't hope to beat us.

O'Malley: You fool! My metallic friend is the only ally I need. Lopez, activate weather control routines.

Lopez: Okay.

Lightning shoots out of Lopez, and he becomes surrounded in what look like spinning mystic runes

Simmons: Are those runic symbols a sign of some ancient technology?

Doc: No, I used to draw them on my binder during study hall. I always wanted to use them for something. Aren't they cool?

O'Malley: Shut up!

Sarge:    Oh, Sampson's back hair. They found our secret weapon. I developed a weather control device, but I was missing one critical piece of technology to make it work.

Ghost: What the fuck were you missing!

O'Malley: Hahaha yes. And now that I've located those "D" batteries, the Universe will be mine! Hahahahaha!

Tucker: Are you serious? You couldn't find D batteries.

Sarge:    Only at gas stations, and they're just so darn expensive there.

Ghost: That is sad... I mean really fucking sad.

Church runs up to everyone, still ticking

Church: What's going on?

Sarge:    You want the long version or the short? Basically you've got a fifty megaton bomb in your gut-

Simmons: Ten sir.

Sarge:    And Lopez is about to kill us all.

Grif is running up behind Church

Church: That didn't make any sense, what's the long version?

Tucker: That was the long version. The short version is "we're boned."

Simmons: Hey Grif, are you okay?

Grif: I've done hard time, Simmons. I'm not the man you used to know.

Simmons: Hard time? We were only separated for five hours.

Grif: Time moves slower on the inside, Simmons. It seemed like seven or eight hours to me.

O'Malley fires a rocket overhead that lands behind them. They scatter

O'Malley: You foolish fools will never defeat me! You're far too busy being foolish! Ha! Oblivion is at hand!

Ghost: Sarge. I have an idea, but I need you to distract him.

Sarge:    Will do! (turns to Grif, who's hiding behind the rock with him... again) Grif? I've never believed in you. Not even for a moment. But now, is your chance to prove yourself. To me.

Grif: What can I do, Sarge?

Sarge:    I need you to run right at O'Malley.

Grif: And shank him with my shiv?

Sarge:    No. When he blows you up with the rocket, try to see if you can get your dismembered limbs and guts to clog the barrels of his rocket launcher.

Grif: You're kidding.

Sarge:    It's a remote chance, I know. But it's worth a shot.

O'Malley: (running up to their cozy little rock) Ahhhhblivion is at hand! (evil laugh)