"Worthless" (Catradora HS Au)

Lunches

Sorry for not updating, I really wanted to but i didn't know how to handle these topics correctly. I wanna have angst but I don't wanna romanticize or antagonize mental illness. I've decided I'll write what doesn't feel wrong and if it's wrong, please correct me. Thank you. 

This is a little bad probably bc I'll edit it in the morning but want it out rn so wait 12 hours to read this if you want smt better.

Trigger Warning: Bulimia, Self Harm, Mental Ilness

Catra's POV

Tuesday morning, I woke up conflicted. Adora protected mother. Can't she see she's manipulating her and lying? She always lies! How can she defend her?! Yeah, she doesn't know who she really is but she heard mother  say all those horrible things! 

How can she believe her? 

I hope she didn't believe all those lies mother said. I want her to be fine. I need her to be fine. 

She's my friend. I don't want to see her hurt. 

Please 

Time skip

Lunchtime came as the bell rang to announce the end of 4th period. I walked to my locker to see Adora already waiting for me.

Ugh. She had that dumb smirk on her face. Dork. She must have gotten out early.

"Hey, the teacher let us out a bit early. How have you been?"

Yep.

"You literally just saw me yesterday!" I sighed.

"I know" she smirked even more. "That's 18 hours you know. A lot can change in 18 hours ya know!"

That's true.

I sighed again, feeling my cheeks heat up from my annoyance.

"Yeah, whatever. I've been fine. You?"

Her smiled smile fell for a fraction of a second but it came back up very fast. "Yeah, I've been, spectacular." (imagine her saying "spectacular" the same way she said "scholars" when meeting Bow's dads.)

Hmm. Interesting. Did something happen to her?

Normally I can understand whether a smile is fake or not but I've only known her for a few days.

Well.

"Uhh, we should go to lunch now." she said awkwardly.

"Oh yeah, right."

We found an almost empty table with only one quiet kid. A blond haired boy that was very quiet.

We ignored him and talked while eating our food. There was some goo that remotely resembled food. Also pasta. Guess which one I ate. 

Adora looked at the goo, seeming confused.

"What-what even is this?" she asked.

"I don't know, probably like, mashed vegetables?" I answered.

She reluctanly took a spoon and ate it. "Huh. Not that bad actually."

"Sure"

"No I'm serious. It's really decent, just missing salt. And any other seasoning. But still."

I watched as she ate the whole thing and a plate of pasta. Good. She hasn't believed mother.

After we ate, I was planning on going to the library to listen to music like I always did. The library was the only place we were allowed to use our phones. Then again, Adora's here too so I can't just listen to music. Maybe I'll just sit outside and get to know her a bit. I don't even know her favourite color.

"Umm, I need to go to the toilet"she said.

"Oh okay. Do you want me to come with?" I asked. (someone pls explain why girls go to toilet in groups I'm a girl and I don't know. Edit: Ok thanks i got it.)

"Umm, no no. No need. just wait at the lockers." 

I nodded and went to my locker to wait for her. Nothing seemed abnormal at first. Until 10 minutes passed and she was still not here.

Did the bullies find her again? Should I look for her?

"Uhh sorry. There was a line." she said as she suddenly came into view.

Oh ok.

She looked unwell so I didn't ask anything.

We hang out for the rest of lunchtime. After we went to our lessons, I remembered that I passed by the girls bathroom to go to my locker. There was no line, or anybody really. Adora was the only one to go in.

Over the next few days, this happened again. And again. Her going to the bathroom was a routine, but it didn't take so much time now. I thought she was just one of those people who went to the bathroom at the same time everyday.

Until the day I had to wash my hands because some idiot spilled glue over my locker. I was so mad that I forgot I was waiting for Adora and went to the bathroom.

There I found Adora, puking in the sink.

I walked inside and was immediately met with the sight of the blonde girl, doubled over the sink, emptying her stomach. It was not a pretty sight.

"Adora?" I asked, very confused.

"Catra?" she said, immediately covering her mouth and washing it with water. She washed her hands too.

"Are you okay?" I asked, a not so good thought forming in my head.

"Well umm...I'm feeling a bit sick?" she answered weakly.

"Yeah I can see that. Do you wanna go home? You should go to the nurse!"

"I'M FINE!"she shouted. "Sorry. I just don't want to miss out on class. Please don't tell anyone okay?"

I was uncomfortable, she was acting very suspiciously.

"Adora...You didn't make yourself puke, right?"

"What! Of course not! Who would do that! Why would you think that!"

She became extremely defensive so ı decided to let it go but keep a close eye on her. She could be telling the truth, I've known her for about a week and a half now. I can't tell whether she's lying or just like this normally.

"No reason. C'mon lets go outside."

We've been playing games to know each other better, like 21 questions, these past few days. I learned that her favourite color was gold.(f*ck you wattpad that's how you spell favourite stop red lining it!)

Time skip

School bell rang to indicate the start of class. The lesson was art, one of the few lessons Adora and I shared. I entered the class to find the teacher waiting in front of the whiteboard. Huh. Normally he doesn't leave his chair. I wonder what's the occasion.

This is it for now. I haven't updated in so long so I want to have this out as soon as possible. If I did anything wrong pls tell me.

The end is very anticlimatic I know. Patience. The angst is coming. I'll probably have the next chapter out soon but you're welcome to speculate.(pls speculate i love reading your comments)