Infinity||H.S.

Hold You Close

"I see you walking through the rain
And I see the water covering your teardrops on your face
And I know that I broke all your rules
Oh, now you're looking at me, and I'm looking at you like a fool
But, you don't know what it feels like to fall in love with you
No, you don't know what it's like when you can't go back

So come on inside, you catch a cold
Oh, darling the storm will pass when you grow old
But you stand next to me with a look in your eyes
And you say goodbye "

Harry

I never dressed up and walked out of my house so quickly.

I think I drove this fast only a couple of times in my life, and certainly never in my Range Rover and never in the busy streets of London.

I never hit the horn so many times either, and I never flipped off other drivers as much as I did in the past ten minutes.

It's been four days since that afternoon at the bakery. Four days of silence, again. I didn't reach out for her, I didn't go to her house. I did nothing.

I was so fucking angry for what she told me before walking away. I couldn't give less than a fuck for the cake she threw in my face, in some ways I deserved it, and I knew I acted like a fucking prick, but I was panicking.

It was a rushed decision.

I stared at my phone for days, writing texts only to delete them. I spent hours holding my thumb over her number on my phone, wondering if calling her was the right thing to do, trying to find something to say. I drove past her loft more times than I'd like to admit and no, I didn't drove by, I drove to her house with the sole intention of seeing her, but chicken out as soon as I parked outside her building.

I'm a fucking pussy, I know.

When I saw those pregnancy tests on John's table and Elle told me they were hers, I saw red. I don't even remember what I told her. All I could think about was that she might be pregnant and that if she was, I was too late.

I hurt her again. Hannah had my balls roasting for over half an hour. I didn't think she could scream so loud. Even John was trembling in fear.

So yes, my decision to go to the bakery was quite rushed. To be honest, I didn't even know she would be there, I mean, I knew she would the had the appointment this past week due to her conversation in the car with Thomas but I didn't know when.

I didn't even call Mae if I must be honest. I was on the phone with my mum and she was there, my mom told me to say that the invitation was beautiful to Elle when I saw her and that's when Susy gave me the information about the bakery. Well, she gave it to my mum, but I was listening so I decided to go.

And that's when everything went to shit. I should have waited. I should have gone to her house, not the bakery.

In my defence, I thought it was a great idea at the time. I thought the bakery was a good place to talk, there we couldn't start a fight. There we should have kept a low profile. And that's what happened, sort of.

If only I didn't hate being ignored so much.

When she didn't even acknowledge my presence, I made my mission to annoy her until she did. And it worked. Badly, but it did. I didn't think it would escalate that quickly. I should have known though, Elle never was famous for her patience and being the hot-tempered woman she is, I should have been surprised she didn't throw the cake at me in the middle of the bakery but actually made an effort to remain calm.