Vikk's P.O.V.
It got lonely sometimes, staring out of the window in the dead of night while I couldn't sleep. This event was becoming more and more common as insomnia took over my night so I almost never shut my curtains anymore, leaving them open so I could stare out into the starry sky. On nights that the clouds weren't covering them, of course, which happened more often than not.
On that particular night there were no clouds in the sky and the moon was shining brightly, illuminating the backyard. I could see a reflection in the pool house where the water shone, dew gleamed in the grass and leaves of the trees, and the world was silent. No wind, no rustling of leaves, no noise other than the quiet hum of my computers and my slow breathing. Absolute, mind-numbing, silence.
I felt completely and utterly alone, even though three other boys slept in room around the house, and three others joined me to make up the Sidemen. I would call them my friends, I supposed, but I didn't really feel like it. I didn't connect with them anymore, I didn't feel anything towards them and with the amount of teasing and jokes I got from them, I figured they didn't feel anything for me either. There was no one there for me anymore.
It was on one of these nights that I wandered from the house, dressed in a thick hoodie and sweatpants, with no idea of where I was going. I just walked, no caring where I ended up. I didn't take my phone or anything, just left the house at 4am, feeling so lonely and lost and scared that there was that awful thought in the back of my mind to end it all, and walked until my legs were numb. The sun was rising by that point, casting orange across the sky.
Finally, exhausted and numb, tears streaming down my cheeks and body wracked with sobs, I collapsed under a tree on the edge of a public park. I could see morning joggers already out on the paths but they didn't come near me- they didn't even know I was there.
I must have sobbed for at least another hour, crying myself to the brink of exhaustion and passing out, when a gentle voice called me.
"Hello?" The voice asked, gentle, quiet. "Are you okay? What are you doing out here on your own?"
I looked up, barely able to see through the tears in my eyes, to find the kindly face of a young blonde man about the same age as me, crouching down in front of me. I blinked, trying to wipe the tears away.
"I'm fine." I mumbled, already turning away.
"I don't think you are." He said back, sitting down now. "Are you homeless? Do you have a place to go?"
"What?" I was startled. "No, I'm not homeless. Just upset, that's all."
"Mm, that's what they all say. Your legs are soaking wet, you're exhausted, you're hungry and tired. I just need to know the truth so I can help you." He gave me one raised eyebrow, gesturing for an answer.
"Not homeless, I swear." I groaned. "Just depressed. Now I've got to find my way back, I don't have my phone and I'm pretty sure I walked for at least three hours. What's the time now?"
"Just past 8am."
"Yup, three hours. I have no idea where I am."
The blonde looked at me, pausing. "Alright, I believe you. Do you need a ride back home? I'm not about to leave you here. I'm Lachlan, by the way."
"Vikk." I sighed. "And that would alright, I suppose. My roommates are probably wondering where I got to."
"They don't know where you are?"
"No, I kind of just walked out at 4am, I don't think any of them were awake. If they're awake they may or may not have called the police." I shrugged, internally wanting to die. Here I was, confessing all of my problems to a complete and utter stranger while the other members of the Sidemen were completely oblivious to my plight and breakdowns. They had no idea about my loneliness, my fear, my thoughts of suicide.
Yet I talked about it to Lachlan, who had approached me while I cried and just asked if I was okay. Sure, he might have been a little condescending when he thought I was lying, but I understood that. He clearly worked with homeless people a lot and knew they probably wouldn't tell him outright if they really didn't have anywhere to go. He just wanted to help.
Lachlan held out a hand and helped me to my feet, handing me a towel as I grimaced at the wet spots on my trousers. I had been sitting in the damp grass for almost an hour, so I shouldn't really have been surprised. I followed him across the park to his car, which appeared to apart of a large group that were indeed apart of a homeless charity as many of the volunteers were wearing shirts that said exactly that. His car was small, less flashy than I maybe expected, and he opened the front passenger door for me to sit down.
"What's your address?" I answered with the Sidemen house, leaning back into the seat and closing my eyes. I was exhausted, honestly, and after all the emotional bullshit I had been through in the last few hours, I wanted to close my eyes and never wake up.
Lachlan stopped in front of the long driveway, reaching out across the centre console to take my hand.
"Hey, can you look at me?" He said gently, squeezing my hand. I turned to him. "Look, I know I don't know you, but I know you're not in a good place right now. Please, get some help, some real help. Take my number and just... get in contact with me? I want to help if I can."
He handed me a piece of paper, on which was his phone number, and I took it.
"I'll try." I said. "Thank you Lachlan. Genuinely."
"I hope you'll be okay Vikk." His voice echoed as I got out of the car, quiet and sad. "It'll be okay one day. I promise."
His words played over and over as I walked down the drive, tired and cold and scared, and as I walked into a silent house. No one was awake, no one knew I had been gone.
I didn't know if it would be okay, but Lachlan seemed pretty sure of it.
----------------------------------------------
My head shot up as a small stone hit my window, I already knew who it was. I swung myself out my window and clambered down the tree outside to fall into Lachlan's arms as he laughed and swung me around a little. The grass was full of dew and it was cold and crisp, but it was a beautiful night with the moon shining overhead.
"How you been?" He asked, pecking my cheek. "How's the recording going?"
"Good." I sighed, hugging him tight. "God, I can't wait to get out of here. Another two weeks."
"Mm."
We had been together for a little over a year now, and in discussions it had come up that the environment I was living in, the Sidemen house, was not helping my depression and anxiety. I needed to break free from it and to do that, Lachlan and I had agreed to move into together. The only problem was- due to a break down in communication, I had to do it secretly. Yes, I was leaving the Sidemen. I had to. It was mentally destroying me, this environment of hate and bullying, pushing me towards suicide. It was the best for me, but I couldn't tell them outright. The plan was to wait until they were gone, two weeks later, before Lachlan came around and helped me move my stuff out into his place.
Lachlan and I continued to meet up in secret, usually at night, when Lachlan slipped into the backyard and we spent a few hours together. Honestly, I loved him. Every since the first time I had met him he had helped me through so much, whether it was when I texted him at 3am scared I might do something stupid or if I met up with him to talk, have a meal, go to a movies or the library. Within a month we made it official and called each other boyfriends, although I didn't tell anyone. Lachlan's family was accepting and soon they became my surrogate parents too, and his friends became mine.
"It's only two weeks." Lachlan mumbled against my forehead. "Two weeks and then there'll be nothing keeping us apart."
"I can't wait." I whispered, leaning up to kiss him. "I can't wait to be in a place that I can feel happy all the time."
"I want you to be happy too." He breathed. His arms around my waist kept me warm in the cool night air. He looked angelic under the light of the moon, hair ringed golden and white, glowing almost. He was my saviour, really. "I love you Vikk. So much."
"I love you too." I murmured back, closing my eyes. "You look so beautiful in the moonlight."
"As do you, my angel." I couldn't help but giggle at the nickname- that was a new one. Lachlan practically cradled me, sighing happily. "You're my angel."
I smiled. It really was going to be okay.
