Thicker than Water (Marauders Era)

Author's Note

Hey guys, I read some of your comments just now, and they made me feel like I should add this. Don't worry, I'll still update tonight, but honestly, this doesn't really fit with the content of the next chapter, so I'm just putting it here. I've been trying to avoid whole chapter author's notes, but I think this is important enough to warrant one.

I am writing - or at least, attempting to write - a realistic portrayal of mental illness. This includes highs and lows and relapse and some seriously fucked up thought patterns. Because I am writing (mostly) in 3rd person limited, Lavinia's thoughts are often stated as narrative. I hope it is clear exactly how awful they are. If it wasn't: they're seriously fucked up and as some people have pointed out, yes, our girl desperately needs professional help. And if you are in a similar situation, you do too and I highly encourage you to seek therapy. I have included the link to the crisis text line (in comments), which is a really good resource if you need - or want - more immediate help.

The other thing I want to say is that much of this is drawn from personal experience. Lavinia's reasons for self harm are drawn from my own and yes, they are fucked up. I also want to mention that I am over a year clean and though I sometimes have bad days, I haven't turned to harm in a long ass time. That is a personal victory that is very important to me and one that I hope all of you who have ever been in a similar situation will reach.

I know saying these things is scary and seeking therapy is scary and so many other things about situations like this are scary, but I honestly hope you will look for help if you need it. I know this is advice from an internet stranger, which is sketchy at best, but you know... please take it? I also just want to say that I know I'm just some random lady on the internet, but if there is anything I can do to help, I will happily do it. If you need to rant to someone, dm me. Or go to therapy, they're job is literally to listen to you rant. If you need a reminder that better times will come, I am right here. And better times came. This is something I am very passionate about and I do my best to help as much as I can through volunteer work and various other methods. I am aware that this is a story that may be triggering for some people, and I understand completely if you want or need to skip sections, chapters or just stop reading. Your mental health is more important.

So please, take care of yourselves and trust that I am going to make sure Lavinia sees it through to better days. You will too. In the meantime, I want her journey to be as realistic as possible because these things don't happen overnight and frankly I don't want people to walk away from this story with the expectation that if you just find the right friends or want it enough, everything will get better. It takes time and effort, but it will happen. And if people get one thing out of this story, I hope it's that no matter how bad things seem right now, they do get better.

So now that I've thoroughly depressed myself and possibly you as well, I'm going to go make bread because why not and I'll be back tonight with another update.