Rage

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Amaya looked around her, taking note of the people sitting in the train carriage with her; there was an elderly couple sitting diagonal from her and a woman with a little boy about five in the very front, whom she saw when she first boarded, but that was all the people seated in the same carriage as her. It was 10 at night, so she was surprised to even see anyone else on the train with her.

The toddler seated at the front of the carriage kept lifting his eyes above the back of the seat to look at Amaya while she held Hisana in her arms. His eyes wandered first to her, then to her daughter, and back up to her. She mustered a smile towards him and watched as his eyes widened before he sank back down next to a woman who Amaya presumed to be the boys mother. Maybe she's getting her son away from her husband like me with Hisana. She sighed leaning her head back against the seat.

What am I doing? She thought to herself as she held her sleeping daughter up against her chest. She had woken up shortly before Amaya boarded the train to be fed, but after they had boarded and begun on their way, the movement of the train had lulled her back to sleep. She carefully removed the top part of the blanket covering Hisana's head and gently rubbed her raven colored hair.

Am I doing the right thing taking her away from Muzan? She had pondered that question countless times since she had first got on the train and even before she left her home. Stop thinking that! She shook her head while gripping her eyes shut. You are doing the right thing, the man you love hit  you tonight out of rage and made it very clear how important conquering the sun was to him. He made it clear how much being the epitome of "perfection" meant to him.

She placed her head gently against her daughter's head as tears stung her eyes. This was probably the hundredth time tears had fallen from her eyes in the last two hours. "I'm so sorry my love," she spoke softly through tears, careful not to wake Hisana up. "I'm so sorry to put you through this, you shouldn't have had to be taken from your father. That's not how this was supposed to go at all. He should be able to watch you grow up; we should be raising you together. I'm so sorry." She sniffled, rubbing her tears away with her free hand.

She couldn't stop thinking about how Muzan would react to their disappearance when he arrived back home. As unpredictable as his mood swings could be, he could be absolutely enraged, completely devastated, or both. By now, he could possible be already back at their home. A part of her deeply regretted leaving him, thinking that she shouldn't deprive him of watching their daughter grow up and just tell him the truth.

The other part of her kept telling her that she was doing the right thing based on what she experienced earlier that night with their conversation and that she needed to get Hisana away from him for her safety. Her mind continued to bounce back and forth until she had been so lost in her own train of thought that she hadn't even realized the man standing next to her in the aisle trying to get her attention.

"Ma'am? Ma'am?"

"Huh?" Amaya snapped out of her daze and looked up at the man confused for a moment. He wore a navy conductor's uniform with a matching hat.

"I need to punch your tickets."

"Oh," she reached down on the seat beside her, grabbing her two tickets and handing them up to the conductor, "I'm sorry I guess I zoned out a little bit."

He punched the tickets before giving them back to her, giving her a soft smile, "It's alright ma'am. Have a nice trip."

Once he walked away, she sighed, sinking herself down in her seat while still holding Hisana up against her chest. How am I supposed to have a nice trip while I'm constantly worried about what Muzan will do? She closed her eyes while leaning her head against the back of the wooden seat as another thought crossed her mind. What if the Taira family won't take Hisana in and raise her? What am I supposed to do then? I can't take her to Kagaya's, that will be the first place Muzan will suspect us to be and the first place he would look.

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