Perfectly Fragile

Chapter Thirty Seven

Breya

With every step I took down the familiar wooden steps I felt my heart shudder. The painful ache in my chest causing my body to go ridged. I involuntary tightened my grip on the betas arm trying to coach myself into a stare of calm.

My body had already given up on me once tonight. The painful memories and the words of alpha bringing nothing but doubt to my mind. I wanted more than anything to be brave, to face my fears of my par head on. Turns out it just wasn't as easy as that.

As soon as the flickering dull light lit up the solum room, my eyes all but widened as I witnessed the true horror of my abuse. My blood still lay bare on the floor making me feel exposed in a way I couldn't even describe. My eyes landed on the metal chair my body had been bound to more times than I could count sending shivers of unpleasant dread though me.

Every single remorseless memory seemed to play out in front of me. Like I was outsider looking in on my own painful suffering. I could feel, I could see it all unfolding before me like a twisted show only I was aware of.

I heard the betas voice but not his words as I felt myself being trapped by own mind and my past torture. My frail body was quivering as I fort back teara of anguish.

"Breya?..

The betas voice held an understanding that I wasn't yet ready to hear. He knew, my eyes shot to his pity, disbelief and sadness seemed to portray on his normally kind features. Embarrassment, shame and sadness had all but consumed me.

I didn't want him to know, I wasn't yet ready to relive this part of my life nor was I ready to share it.

"I.. I can't be here"

Even my voice sounded perfectic as it trembled out of my mouth like a painful symphony. My legs had already decided they couldn't stand here any longer, taking me out of the basement I ignored my aching body and the pain that soured through every inch of it.

Running past the bust bodies of the other wolves I flew out of the door, greeted by the fresh chill of the night that held the winters bitter cold. Fueled by nothing but pain I ran through the open field, breaking through the tree line.

I just kept running I didn't care that the bare branches of the forest trees cut at my skin as they harshly scraped across my body. I ignored the sting it caused wanting nothing more than to be as far away as I could from the orphanage and my life.

One thing I'd never be free of were the memories that thought alone or rather realisation was enough to fuel the pain in my head that bit more. I soon found myself by the river. Stopping In the clearing I watched as my breath formed a cold burning mist as I panted for air.

The beautiful ripples of the water reflected the moons bright light in a way that could only be described as magical. I found myself only come more consumed with pain as I wished my life held just a fraction of the magic I was witnessing in this moment.

The soft wine of a wold mwt my ears from the tree line along the river. I didn't need to look to know who it was. I felt my body's reaction as his eyes trailed over my body. I suddenly felt a wave of anger maybe even frustration fall over me.

The silver beast had played no part in my past or the scars that littered my body and mind, but he was a wolf and right now my pain over shadowed any rational ability I had. I felt the tears running down my face as the cols stung on my now wet cheeks.

I felt the frustration at the way I felt around this creature, I hated I felt this level of comfort and trust with a wolf after everything they had put me through.

"why? Why are you all so cruel? What... What did I do to deserve all the pain, the suffering...

My words were jumbled as I tried to air my irratational thoughts between painful sobs. Turning my body to him I felt myself loosing all my self control, dignity and strength. Stood at least two arms lengths away from me the beast just stood there. Taking in the sight of my tortured outrage.

"that's it take a good look, this is what they did to me. What you all did to me, you all think you are entitled to do whatever you want, I.. Ii mean what kind of monsters are capable of tearing someone down from the inside out? How is it ok for one person to hold this much pain inside my shattered heart?"

My breathing was frantic as I allowed my mouth to speak before my brain could even fathom what I wa saying. But I wasn't done, I felt myself completely unravelling as my body shook with unbearable suffering clenching at my heart.

" I hate you all, everyone of you are the same only capable of causing pain and suffering I can't.. Ii won't do this anymore I'm tired of being a play thing for you all to chew up and spit out for no other reason than the fact that you can... It hurts to much it just hh...

I felt my self dissipating as it all became to much. My jeae mind and body were to full of the pain I'd held in for to many years. The damage and hurt rhag was inflicted on me to raw for me to handle.

My body began to shrink to the floor as the weight of it all proved to much. The silver beasta body was quickly engulfing mine before I could fully reach the ground. Wrapping himself around me as I collapsed onto his soft fur.

My hands sunk beneath his silky coat in a firm grip as I tried to cling to him like a second skin. My cries now completely uncontrollable as my face buried further into him. I was welcoming the comfort he brought to hurt to hold onto my resentment.

It felt like hours had passed before my cries became still. Not a single was uttered between us as I found a peaceful sanctuary against the silver beast and the still night. The sound of the river gently passing practically lulled my exausted body to sleep.

The only thing I felt  before I fully drifted into a much needed sleep was complete gratitude for not having to suffer in this moment alone.