The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

Filched ☆ Inkerbell.

Hey there fam <3 agni_infinity
Here's your review for Filched.

Reviewed by - ItsmeAxelle_
Chapters reviewed - 8

First thoughts -

I honestly love love loved the entire angle of Indian girl in a foreign land, as I have not seen a lot of books with such a plotline and a promising style.

Coming to the blurb, as you mentioned it yourself, it isn't the most eye - catching or interesting description. Some advice, you can try to make the description like one of the dialogues from your book, as it would make it more better, after you put up a better opening for the blurb.

I loved the cover page as its quite dark, but again, it doesn't really match up with the blurb, and the plot.

The chapters -

If I could describe your flow, its way too fast. But, its a very good plot as the indian girl isn't some saint or like this innocent shy new girl, which is one of the plus points of your book.

When I started reading the first chapter, I felt you rushed it too quick, from the airport to the new house, it was all very fast, so I would like to suggest you add a part of Madhi's background here, maybe make it her thoughts or you can include more conversation between the family.

In chapter 2, the story progressed, I instantly thought of 'The quirky tale of April hale', as it revolves around the bad boy staying her room, but that's alright, though it was again way too fast, as Axl easily confesses the reason for being in her room, you could add more conversation and more action, like maybe Madhi gets out a bat or something to attack him.

More over, I feel you need to express more clarity into the scenes, like the meeting with Lee, it needed more info on how did they bump, how did she enter etc.

Chapter 4' s detention scene I felt needed a little more dialogues and expression of all the other characters, you need to take care about what the others are doing in that particular scene too. A little more action would have set the pace.

I loved the Lunch scene as it wasn't the cliché line 'The main girl will now bitch off the queen bitch," as she just ignored it, again there I wanted a little more description of how the place looks, of how others are eating, who is staring, is the lunch lady ugly etc.
I also really liked the entire angle of Madhi being friends with the 2 Jocks, it needs more clarity and a slower introductory pace though.

Writing technicalities -

I really need you to add gaps between Madhi's inner thoughts and also between dialogues.

Like in chapter 3, she says 'disgrace' ,
You could have added 'disgrace' to the next line, and then 'I nod' to the next line, this really tones up your book as it doesn't seem fast. So you could work on editing the book to have gaps.

Chapter 4 and 5 didn't have much of faults but I honestly loved the dialogue of 'You see, when I wasn't looking..' , it kinda bought a twist and a more observant side of Madhi so wow.

The Sonic scene with Tom, the format was much better, as there were gaps, but when Tom replies in a 'panicky tone' , you can add exclamations or even 'um..' to actually show that he is panicking and not just saying it.

The entire scene was good, but kind of empty, More conversation, a little more chaos over the coke incident would have made the chapter make viewers ship them.

I totally loved the way Ocean convinced Maaran about staying, and chapter 7 's conversation between Axl and Madhi had a very nice tone and it was smooth, and there was definite improvement in the writing format too. Chapter 8 again went a little too fast with Madhi thinking about Axl, and all the texts.

Final words -

I am honestly appreciating the book because I was craving for such a plotline since ages, and with such awesome humour, I was not dissapointed, your book is amazing from the aspect of potential story lines, but I feel you need to bring in better development of characters, and better inputs of what Madhi thinks, like maybe how much she misses India, her past life and all that, Your grammar is top notch, especially the parts of the twin telepathy, but if you edit this thoroughly with gaps and better transition, its going to be an awesome and really good book.
PS - The cool mom and goth bestie totally rock!

Hope you were happy, have a great day!
All the best and keep writing, you're doing great Agni😀💖