𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

xii

my mind is filled with a million different thoughts. they're pushing and shoving and tearing my patience away in order to make it it the forefront of my current agenda. i'm trying my best to keep them at bay, not allowing anyone to see that i'm suffering more than i let on. but i've been fighting this battle for too fucking long and i can't help the feeling that i'm breaking apart. i want to talk to someone; anyone. but i know that talking about my problems isn't gonna fix them. i don't seek sympathy, i seek clarity. i don't need to burden others with my problems. because i know i need to figure them out myself; stop pushing them away and let the anxiety spread momentarily. because that's just it, it's momentary. everything in this corrupt society is. especially us. so maybe i need to just rip the fucking band-aid off and endure the pain so i can savour the relief even more.