The Beginning

Chapter Twenty-one

"I thought they didn't like you and your family?", Aria asked her head resting on my chest. My fingertips traced up and down her arm.

"It was a lie. I should have known, they are my family and they wouldn't do that. I've known them for years.", I said.

Aria looked up at me and I sighed. She turned at rested her hands on my chest before placing her chin on top of them.

"I don't want you to think that I have anything to do with my father and his business. The guys do their own thing and I-I do my mine.", she said.

"Aria, I...This whole thing it's complicated, your family and mine and the Russo's it's just a lot. People are hiding things and I don't know who. Your family is protecting someone who may have killed my wife and that can get messy. Because if they are protecting from me and purposely put the peace contract between my family and yours to protect this person. People are gonna get hurt and some of those people might be your family.", I looked away from her and sighed.

"Gio, you can't hurt my family. I know that you're upset and hurt but you can't hurt my family. I can't let that happen.", she sat up holding the sheet to her body.

I sat up and sighed. I turned to her, she had a serious and worried look on her face.

"Aria", I said.

She got up from the bed and started getting dressed.
"No, no. I get it, you're upset because they hurt someone in your life but you cannot hurt my family.", Aria raised her voice.

"Hurt someone in my life? Aria, they might have been the ones who killed my wife. They took someone so important to me away. I can never get her back. They deserve to feel the same pain that I do."I said. I got up before getting dressed.

"What about me, Gio? Don't you think I'll feel that pain too?", Aria said tears in her eyes.

"Aria, I don't want to hurt you. But I will get my revenge.", I said.

"She's gone, Gio! She's gone. It's been two years. You're killing yourself by doing this. Let yourself be free, let yourself let go and move on!", Aria yelled.

"You don't get it, do you?", I yelled. "Someone killed my wife! They took my family away from me. I can never get that back. I died that day too, I didn't just lose Greta!", I yelled.

"Grieve, Gio! Grieve for the first year but after that, you have to move on. Start your life again! You still have people here for you who are alive!", Aria's voice cracked.

"How can I move on? My wife is dead, my child who couldn't even have a chance at life is dead. My son or daughter who I never got to meet is gone. I'm not just grieving my wife, I'm grieving my kid. How do I move on from that? I wanted more than anything in the world to be a father and that was taken from me. The two most important things in my entire life. The two things that I lived for.", I snapped, a tear rolled down my face.

Aria looked at me and didn't say anything.

"I should have known that it was too good to be true that you might want to move on. That you might want to start again. That you were actually starting to care. It's been two years, Gio. Two years...I should go", she said walking past me.

I sighed placing my hand over my face. I heard the door slam down the stairs. I knew that this was going to cause problems. That's why I didn't want this marriage. I didn't want to know Aria. I didn't want to care.

I kicked the nightstand causing the lamp to tip over and fall, the light bulb breaking. I went downstairs and kicked things, grabbing glasses and throwing them in anger.

I turned to see a bottle of whiskey before grabbing it and drinking from the bottle. I went back and forth from breaking things to drinking the whiskey until I was drunk. I grabbed two bottles of whiskey and took them upstairs with me. I grabbed a key and walked to the room that was off-limits to everyone except me.

I walked in and felt a pain in my chest. I closed the door behind me and I looked around to see the gray walls with little koalas. I took a swig of the bottle, I walked pasted the crib as my fingers traced the top of it. I sat down in the rocking chair across from it and stared at the crib drinking my whiskey.

"You would have had the best moon in the world", I said out loud to my baby who wasn't there. "I know you're with her but if you were both here, you two would have been so happy.", I smiled softly.

"I wish that it would have been me so that you and your mom could be happy. Started a life, watch you grow. It would be hard without me at first but she would have you to remember me by. I bet you're beautiful if you're a girl or handsome like me if you're a boy. ", my vision began to blur as tears filled my eyes.

"I wish I could have gotten to meet you. Hold your little hand. Read your bedtime stories, tuck you in and in the morning we could make breakfast for mom. You and your mother changed my life. Especially you and we haven't even met.", I took another swig and I laughed softly.

This pain I was feeling right now unbearable. There was an ache in my heart and it made my chest hurt. I couldn't breathe.

"I loved you so much. It's crazy how much I loved you. Your mom too. She was everything to me. My light on my darkest days. I wished I could have given you a life. I failed you and mom. It should have been me. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry", I began to sob. I reached over and grabbed one of Greta's shirts that never left the room since it was put there by her.

I held it to my face and took in it's sent, my body instantly relaxing.

"I'm so sorry, Greta. It should have been me. You and our baby should be here right now and I should be gone.", I sighed holding her shirt closer to me

Just talking in her scent made me calm but I couldn't stop crying. My heart ached for her, I know that everyone says I should move on but the way that I loved Greta. I would never love anyone like that. I might love again but not like that. Never like that.