Love only knows broken ends

Chapter 27- Getting addicted

It's like you screaming....
And no one can hear you.....
You almost feel ashamed that
Something can be that more important to you
That without it....you feel nothing.
Ecstasy.....
I wouldn't call it an addiction....
I would call it my normality...from now on.

For this chapter, listen to bellyache by Billie eilish.

The hours of happiness had already passed....and I was my sad self again. I remembered Yosef's proposal and mum's words after she realized I like girls.

"You can't be a lesbian. You hear me?" She barked.

"I will not accept that."

"But mum. Things change, people change and feelings change."

"SHUT. UP."

"I. WILL NOT. LET. MY DAUGHTER. BE A LESBIAN. AS A BLACK WOMAN, I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT."

Tears streaked my face. If I didn't have the support of my own mother, then who'd support me? I just only wished I knew my dad. He would be here for me, because he's also gay.

"Hey, come and take a shower. I heated the water for you." Lindsey's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

I wiped my tears off.

"Thanks." I smiled at her and stood up from the bed.

I walked leisurely to the bathroom, ripped the clothes off my body, and stepped into the tab. I sat there for quite a long time doing nothing, but thinking. I fucking needed that drug I took yesterday. It made me so happy. I was in another kind of world I never thought I would ever be.

But sadly, that beautiful happy world lasts for only hours. How was I going to cope? I guess I'll just have to keep taking it over and over again.

:(

"So what are you going to do now?" Lindsey asked me while she placed a cup of coffee in-front of me.

I wasn't really paying attention to her the whole time, that I asked her to repeat what she said.

"Huh, with what?"

"You seriously haven't been listening to me the whole time." She exclaimed.

I lowered my head. It was actually aching me, from the time I woke up. I couldn't even remember what happened last night after me and Lindsey drank juice.

She walked close to me and clasped my cheeks. I gazed at her.

"Stop being like this. You're going to be so depressed."

"I am already depressed. I could die if I have to." I frowned.

"Stop saying that." She pulled me for an embrace, running her hands slowly on my back.

I sighed and immediately my phone rang.

I checked the caller and it was Mum.

"Hello." I answered.

"WHERE YOU RIGHT NOW?" She roared.

"I'm at Lindsey's."

"COME HOME AS FIRST AS YOU CAN."

"Why?"

"I SAID GET BACK HOME." She barked the more.

I was so scared. I didn't want to go home after what happened yesterday. I felt like mum could hurt me. I had to make up a plan to not go back home. I muted the call and gave Lindsey a fixed look.

"I don't want to go back home. Help me out." I said with a pitiful sigh.

She squinted around. "Tell her you don't have a ride back home and you can't walk back."