38|| I won't let go

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Dedicated to HariniGonugondla Thanks for all the lovely support <3!!!

Dedicated to HariniGonugondla Thanks for all the lovely support <3!!!

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"Hey." I mumbled lowly, clearing my throat when it clenched at the sight of the gravestones, as always. With a wavering breath I carefully crouched between both, trying to mess the beautiful dress Norah's lend me as less as possible. "It's me again." I smiled, picturing my parents grinning down at me and placed the buckets of flowers down while picking up the dried ones. "Here, lilies and roses. As usual."

I pushed my weight back to seat on my heels and gazed the soft white of the marmol where they're names were scuped. My fingers traced it with this pinch in my heart.

"It felt like I can't come often enough. There's always too much to say... Too much you should had seen." I felt that familiar sting in my eyes and blinked rapidly. "Anyway, I have good news. Remember how I'd given up with USC? Well, that's changed." I cheered, feeling more and more light at the happy topic. "They agreed to give me a change to entered the shoolarship program if I do a decent presentation. And it's... it's today. I'm so nervous. Really, like my stomach could explode at any moment, and my limbs felt shaky and sweaty and..." I sighed, controlling my ramble. "Well, you get it."

I brushed the marble free of leaves and dust, careful not to get any of it on me.

"I've worked so much, and I think I might get a chance. Chosing the topic was so hard, but once it was done everything else fell right into it's place. Granny'd helped a lot. Really. I don't think it could had worked out without her and was always so sensitive... It's funny how she won't stop praising the project and says it's on the blood." I laughed and shook my head. "I just hope it all turned up alright. It would be nice for one thing to go well after all. That would be perfect."

I keep telling them about the exposition, about my nerves and how important this event was I also update them about Brett. About us being together now, even tho I hadn't seen him for a whole week and I missed him more than I thought I would.

We'd text and called but it wasn't the same. I hadn't realized how used I'd gotten to having him back into my life 'til he was thousands of miles away.

I could almost imagine my mother smug glance, especially after Julia told me she'd shipped us since we were little. It would had been nice she would had seen it happen and could had brag about her premonitions 'til I burn in shame. My father would had probably rolled his eyes and joke about it. I smiled at the thoughts.

It felt good to come clean with them. Especially with the amount of things that had happen since last time I came.

By the time I made my way back to Granny's car I felt both relief and saddened. I halted by the driver's door, and give her a smile through the downed window. 

"How did it go?" she asked nontheless.

"Good." I hummed and it wasn't all a lie. But coming here was always hard.

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