33 - The Luminance Of Night

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I wonder . . . how am I living right now?

Oh, there's no need to wonder. I already know what kind of life I'm having right now. My life is in the loop.

Like this time, I'm staring at the ceiling as if it has become my new friend. I'm actually thinking if I'll give my friend, ceiling, a proper name.

And I'm not sure of what to do now, especially that I'm done working for the noise-to-electricity converter. It's not like I never thought of that for about a thousand times. I've thought of it, yet I can't get the answers I want.

I'm still on my bed and the sound of my alarm clock keeps on pestering me. It's an indication that the sun is about to rise again. Shutting the alarm off, I sit properly and stretch my arms towards the air.

I look outside. One thing I realize while living in Tokyo is that there's no night and day in here. All the lights of the building are mostly kept alive and most people are awake.

It's 5:30 in the morning. Today's dawn is seemed shy as though it's not yet prepared to come. The night sky is still prominent and frequent dark clouds are roaming around. We are currently living in a high-rise building (on the eleventh floor), thus I have easy visual access in the cityscapes.

A few more minutes, the sun has peaked from the horizon. I smile to myself. It's a beautiful morning; somehow, I happen to embrace these quiet moments and start daydreaming about my life beyond this isolation.

Smiling genuinely, I get off my bed and head to the kitchen. I'll make breakfast, snacks, and lunch for Mom. It's been a month since I started doing this. Well, what else could I do? After working for that project, by some means, I feel empty. It's not that I'm losing my track, I'm still on the track . . . I just feel like I'm missing something. Something I lost long ago.

Once I'm done cooking, Mom and I both settled on the table. As usual, we thank the food and start eating. It's just a light breakfast. Mom doesn't want to start the morning heavy—toast bread, served with a black coffee, will be enough for her. That's why I make her pre-lunch snacks before she takes her noon break.

As we're about to finish our breakfast, Mom asked me, "Do you have any agenda for today, Rainey?"

I shake my head. "My last interview was a week ago."

I never wanted this to be publicized, but Mom and my adviser insisted me to. So, the last time I checked, I become quite popular.

Mom nods, sipping her coffee. "Good for you, because I'm getting the opposite now."

I told my head on the right. "Why?"

"For the next two days, I'll be doing nothing but interview new associates in the firm."

"Summer associates, huh?" I chuckle, "Brings back memories." I remember when I was working for their firm. War flashbacks. It feels like yesterday.

"Why?" Mom smirks, knowing that's it's a bad memory for me. "You want to come working for us again?"

I make a sour face. "Being a lawyer is a cool job, but no. It's a trauma for me."

Mom laughs, delighted. "Well, partly true. Being a good lawyer doesn't mean you're always kicking asses, but there are times as well that you'll get your ass kicked."

I don't know, but I find it amusing how Mom says the word 'ass'. Is it her favorite slang word? I wonder what kind of person Mom is when she's in an argument?

She then has finished her food. Before standing up, she takes a note out of her handbag and slides it against the table towards me. "By the way, your schedule won't be clear today," she smiles quaintly, "You'll be having an interview this late afternoon."

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