Infinity||H.S.

Since We Were Eighteen

And I know that it's all so wrong
And you heard all this before
I didn't call back and I wasn't there
I won't trouble you no more
'Cause I love you
More than you think I do
And I love you
Now you don't want me to
'Cause I love you
More than you think I do
And I love you
Now you don't want me to

****

Noelle

Remember when I said I didn't know if Thomas was coming to London or if I was going to New York?

Well... I went to New York and we planned a fantastic weekend in the Hamptons since Thomas' family has a house there.

We drove there the morning after my arrival and we planned on staying there all weekend and go back home only on Sunday night since we both had a flight to catch on Monday, Thomas in the morning and I in the afternoon.

It felt nice, spending some quality time with Thomas away from the city and all the stuff towering over us. In the Hamptons, there were just us and no one else.

We spent the first day there practically fooling around in bed, watching movies and talking about the time we spent apart, going out just for doing some groceries shopping.

The second day was spent at the beach. We arrived there in the early morning and laid under the sun till late afternoon, when we decide to go home, shower and go out again for dinner and a night out, that ended up with us going back home pretty drunk.

That day I told him Harry brought me to the Eagles concert, that he came up to my - our - loft for dinner after, and we ended up falling asleep on the couch while Endless Love was playing on the television.

I decide not to tell him over the phone, not that anything bad happened, but I knew it was better telling him in person. I knew he didn't take Harry staying with me while I was sick very well - even if he tried to cover it - therefore I knew telling him over the phone wasn't a good idea.

I'd like to say he took it well, but he didn't and I can't really blame him. We didn't exactly fight over it, but we indeed had an argument. I understood his point of view, hell I'd probably react way worse than he did if he told me a girl friend of his slept at his - our - place. He told me over and over again that it wasn't a matter of jealousy because he trusted me blindly - even if he was in fact slightly jealous - but that he didn't like me not telling him right away, that he felt like I wanted to hide it from him.
That's when I lost it.

Yeah, yeah I know. Maybe I should really start doing some yoga.

The fact that he thought I didn't tell him sooner because maybe I had something to hide hurt me to no limit. I never, not once, lied to him, not even when we were just friends, I've always been honest, telling him how I was feeling. Just one time I decide to not tell him a little thing right away and he thinks I tried to hide it?

He was lucky we were in the middle of the beach and there were other people around us so I couldn't really scream. But if the thought of paparazzi catching us didn't stop me from throwing cake in Harry's face, unknown people didn't stop me from giving Thomas a piece of my mind.

He might be my fiancee, but if I want to have a sleepover with one of my best friends or if said best friend falls asleep on me on the couch while we watch a movie, he can't think about the worst just because I don't tell him immediately. I understand how he feels about Harry; I don't understand how he could have thought so lowly of me though.

I know Thomas like the back of my hand. When we first start dating, he was slightly jealous of Carter, he didn't let me see it because he wanted me to feel free to do what I wanted and didn't want to change my way of doing things because of him, but I could see it in his eyes, at first he hated the fact that some nights Carter and I slept in the same bed. With time, he got used and accepted it, exactly like I accepted some of his habits. Now he has to do the same with Harry, that's all.